Survival Lessons With KakashiSensei
by Hitoko-sama
Summary: Naruto is tempted with promises of 'training' but it is not the train he had in mind. YAOI! KakaNaru Dedicated to SugarSweetLolitaPrincessX
1. Never Let the Enemy Steal Your Clothes

**Ok this is dedicated to…SugarSweetLolitaPrincessX something about fans complimenting on my work like straight up always makes me want to write them something that'll make 'em feel special. So here you go. Naruto's PV**

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Everything had been going great. Sasuke had returned to the village, with a few more in hand than I had anticipated. And after Danzo was killed my hat was thrown into the race of Hokage. But I was up against someone who could very well beat me, the one, the only…Kakashi-sensei. And instead of treating me like an equal, he still treats me like his small little student. Which, technically, I still am, but that's beside the point. Damn you short stature.

The six of us stood together on the bridge waiting for Kakashi. And by the six of us I mean Sasuke, his two lackey things Suigetsu and Juugo, Sakura, Sai and myself. But I would be lying if I said I didn't like Sasuke's lackeys. Especially Suigetsu, he cracked me up with his constant punches to Sasuke's ego and the fact that Sai and Sasuke look strangely similar. I smiled thinking about that time Suigetsu had commented about masturbating and how Sasuke could do it with Sai and it would count as the same thing, he was covered in bruises for about a month. I looked over and hadn't realized that everyone was looking at me.

" Uh…What are you guys all staring at?" I asked, feeling slightly embarrassed. I know my face gained a little color but I smiled anyway.

" Well I was staring at Sasuke which started to get boring since he's so controlled and needs to get some." Suigetsu began avoiding a punch from Sasuke. " And I looked over at you and you had the most happy expression on your face…And then I prompted myself 'what could he be thinking?' And I guess eventually everyone kind of followed my lead. But I personally believe it also has something to do with the fact we've been waiting here for three hours and Kakashi STILL hasn't shown up."

" Oh but children I'm already here." Kakashi said walking up, _Icha Icha Paradise _in hand, as usual. But I narrowed my eyes at him, calling us children! We're teenagers, I grow pubic hair damn it! " I'm sorry to say that almost all of you can go home."

" GO HOME?!" We all yelled, in unison I might add. Everyone looked pretty steamed and Sakura shook her head leaving down the path. Suigetsu and Juugo both followed her lead. Sai shrugged and disappeared in a puff of smoke. All that was left was Sasuke and me.

" Go home Sasuke, this only pertains to Naruto." He said. I could feel the Uchiha's glare hitting the back of my head before I heard a 'poof.' I looked at Kakashi for a long time, I wondered what he could possibly want with me. " Naruto, would you like to train with me today?"

How could I resist such words?

* * *

I should have know something was up from the way he tempted me with 'training.' Training my ass! I quietly crept through the streets of Kohona but I knew one person walking this late at night could ruin everything.

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**Flashback**

_Kakashi had taken me to the training ground. There was nothing unusual about that until he got only inches from me. I raised my eyebrow, not understanding, he took a kunai and sliced it down my stomach. I screamed but didn't feel any pain, realizing he wasn't trying to kill me. He smiled at me, which only seemed to make me even more apprehensive. I eyed him and took a step back. He followed. He reached out and caressed my stomach. The tips of Kakashi's fingers were actually surprisingly soft. But I moved away from his touches, not knowing the intentions of them. I backed up more and then felt him behind me, he placed a hand on my shoulder, removing what was left of the clothes on my torso. Kakashi did something that shocked me into immobilization. He took off his mask! After almost four years of waiting I saw his true face. And it was beautiful. His lips looked soft and I leaned into him, unknowingly sealing my fate. His hands entwined in my hair, pulling me forward. His lips muddled my mind and his hands began to trace my everything. He stopped at the button, undoing it slowly. I bit his lip in anticipation._

" _Naruto there's something I have to tell you…" Kakashi muttered between kisses. He got my pants and boxers off in one fluid movement. _

" _And what's that?" I asked as Kakashi cupped one of my cheeks, squeezing it. I moaned a little as he continued to fondle me._

" _Never let the enemy gain the upper hand." He said backing away from me. My clothes in hand. I screamed and charged at him. How could I be so stupid, this was obviously a survival lesson! I had just made foolish mistake number one. Kakashi disappeared in a cloud of smoke and I just stood there in all my naked glory completely confused about what to do. I ran into the woods and I mean, ran. I have never run as fast as I was and I would never be able to do it again. I opted to jumping and hiding in a bush so no one would see my nakedness. Plus I had no idea where Kakashi-sensei had disappeared to with my clothes no less. _

_It was hours before I decided it was time to move. My muscles were stiff and there had been a solitary stick that proceeded to attempt to take my virginity whilst I was sitting in that awkward position. So I took the stick and broke it. Showed it who was boss. Well that was foolish mistake number two. _

" _There you are Naruto." Kakashi said. " I was beginning to think I would find you, but as soon as you broke that stick I knew exactly where you were."_

" _Damn!" I said breaking out into a run. Kakashi followed behind me, throwing the causal kunai now and again. I ran in between two trees and felt myself get snagged on a trip wire. I mentally curse Kakashi for his cleverness. A net scooped me up and the rope pressed harshly against my skin. I noticed that the net wasn't very high off the ground, in fact I was eye level with Kakashi when he went to stand next to it. _

_He grabbed my ass through the wire making it go deeper into my skin. I winced but somehow found myself being even more turned on from the slight pain. He tried to kiss me through the rope but I pulled back, glaring at him for getting me in such an uncomfortable position. He smirked and ducked underneath the net. I didn't want him that close to my naked ass at all. But what he did next…I didn't seem to mind at all. He managed to shove his arms through the holes in the net and he part my ass cheeks. I was so taken back I didn't even struggle. I did, however, scream when I felt his tongue pressing against my entrance. _

" _WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" I screamed in sheer embarrassment. Kakashi ignored me and keeping a tight grip on my hips so I couldn't squirm away, not that I had anywhere to go. I started to moan when his tongue penetrated a little. " Kakashi-sensei stop…not like this."_

" _Then how DO you want it Naruto?" He retorted. I had never been redder or hornier in my entire life. And I spent three years with Jiraiya. He removed his tongue only to replace it with a finger. I grunted at the feeling. It wasn't painful…just extremely awkward. He wasted no time in adding the second, stretching me even though I was almost 100 percent sure he would stop right before I climaxed. But I moaned anyway, enjoying what I could. His free hand reached up and started to rub my cock in time with his finger's thrusts. I was so distracted I didn't even notice when he added the third finger. I arched against the rope, savoring the pain that dance across my back, digging it deeper, creating a lovely friction. Before I knew what hit me, Kakashi had cut the net. I landed on a none to soft rock that tried to bury itself in my ass. I didn't understand why everything was trying to dig itself a new home in my ass. _

_Kakashi picked me up and slammed me against the tree. He used some of the cut rope to bind my wrists above my head and unzipped his pants. His cock was rock hard and I could help but stare and wonder how the HELL he expected that to get inside me. He lifted my leg up and pressed against me. I moaned when the tip stretched me a little more. He kissed my neck and toyed with my nipples to distract me but I still felt that first thrust all to well. I screamed feeling as if I was being torn in half. Kakashi tried to hush me by whispering sweet nothings in my ear, it seemed to help, but not enough._

" _Please." I begged, tears beginning to sting my eyes. " Take it out, I can't…"_

" _Shh…it's ok." Kakashi said nipping at the shell of my ear. " Trust me it'll be better and you'll be pushing back against me in no time." _

_I could tell he was resisting the urge to pound me, but I kicked him in the butt, telling him I wanted to feel this more. He started with slow, controlled thrusts. Like he was searching for all the places where my body could feel the pleasure in all this. His thrusts stopped hurting and felt more filling than anything else until he struck something that made my vision go white hot. I let out a scream of pure ecstasy and he thrusted there again, it was like nothing I had ever felt before. I muffled my cries into his shoulder, biting down on it. He grunted and rebottled with a hard thrust. I groaned wrapping my fingers around the rope that tied my wrists. _

" _Does it feel good?" Kakashi asked, he was smirking but I was far to dazed to really see it. " Are you in so much pleasure you don't know what to think?"_

_I nodded furiously at every single question he asked. He pressed me harder against the tree, digging the bark into my skin. I cried out in bliss. Who knew I was such a masochist? I clenched my muscles around his cock, loving the way his breath hitched at the slight adjustment. _

" _Uh…naughty fox." He purred into my ear and I moaned. " You've been bad haven't you?"_

" _Yes! I need to be punished, I've been such a bad fox." I said huskily into his ear. He nibbled at my neck giving me harder thrusts. But what really made me moan even more was when he smacked my ass. It was something about the rough treatment that made me lose it. I came on Kakashi's shirt and he spanked me again. My muscles contracted once last time before he came into my heat. I moaned at the feeling of the hot liquid filling my hole. Kakashi undid the rope and held me for a moment. He kissed and sucked on my neck trying to leave as many marks as he could, but they would all be gone by morning._

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Now comes my current problem. Kakashi didn't give me back my clothes, in fact he just took off running again saying something about the next lesson. In the back of my head I decided that given the chance I would do it again.

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**Yay I finished my first attempt at a KakaNaru fic!! Well I hope everyone enjoys it! Look out for other 'lessons'**

**Naruto: …you know I'm not gonna even say anything  
Me: That's a first  
Naruto: really? REALLY? Being stripped and running from my sensei who wants my nuts?  
Me:Yep, you got it  
Naruto: This is low even for you  
Me: Really? I would say this is a new high, its testing my range for pairings. This was Hitoko-sama.**


	2. BOW TO YOUR SENSEI

**HURRAY HERE'S THE SECOND CHAPTER I HOPE YOU LOVE IT! Naruto's PV  
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I had done it. I had done the ONE thing I had set to do in my life, well besides the whole get Sasuke to return home. I had become Hokage. After I had received the news and was alone, I did the victory dance. But decided that perhaps I should talk to my Sensei about my victory. He was obviously feeling the sting of losing, to his student no less. I made my way over to his home. I knocked on the door, he opened it in about two seconds. Kakashi grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me into his house. He threw me onto his couch and removed his mask. He lowered his face down to kiss me and I threw up a hand.

" This is no way to treat your newly appointed Hokage!" I said getting off his couch. I regained my composure before turning to face him. A smirk played on his lips.

" Perhaps I should teach you another lesson." Kakashi said. " Lesson number two: BOW TO YOUR SENSEI."

My eyes widened and tried to run to his door. Kakashi grabbed me around the waist. I struggled in his arms as he took me through his house. He kicked in one of his doors and I realized that it was his bed room. He tossed me onto his bed. He was atop me in seconds. I struggled under his weight but I couldn't get him off. He ripped off my shirt. I punched him in the neck. He coughed and fell of the side of his bed. I looked over and he grabbed me, pulling me onto the floor. I landed with a thud. I rolled away from the bed and tried to run out of the door. Kakashi grabbed my ankle and pulled me back.

" NOOO!" I screamed. I don't know why I did, its not like I was about to be murdered or something. He pulled me into his arms and he had one again pinned me down. It made me wonder how I got the position of Hokage if I couldn't even beat my aging sensei. He trailed down the back of my neck with his tongue, stopping every so often to plant soft kisses. My mind became muddled.

There was soft tapping against Kakashi's window. We both looked up to see a very disturbed Sasuke sitting in the window sill.

" Oh that's right I had to talk with Sasuke today." Kakashi said calmly getting off my back. He opened the window for Sasuke, who hesitated to come into the room. I got off the floor and stared at the tattered remains of my shirt. I didn't understand Kakashi's obsession with stealing or destroying my clothes.

The Uchiha stared at me for a moment in confusion. I gave him the I'll-tell-you-later look. He nodded at me. Kakashi put an arm around Sasuke's shoulder. He shrugged out of it and shook his head.

" Sasuke what was on your mind?" Kakashi asked sitting down on his bed. Sasuke and I stood next to each other. We stared at each other for a moment before returning our attention to Kakashi. He was acting like nothing happened. Which pissed me off cause something definitely did. He embarrassed me in front of my best friend.

" Oh well I was so shocked by what I saw, I forgot." Sasuke confessed folding his arms over his chest. Kakashi shrugged. I rolled my eyes and sensei got off his bed. He appeared at my side, which made Sasuke and I jump slightly. Was Sasuke in the same boat as me? A tinge of jealously went through my heart but I didn't let it show.

" Well then if you're not doing anything Sasuke perhaps you can join us." Kakashi said with an innocent smile. That man was NO innocent.

" WHAT?!" I screamed. " Apparently you don't know Sasuke very well he-"

" Sure I'm game."

" WHAT?!" I looked from Sasuke to Kakashi and realized there was no escape now. Sasuke pulled me in for a kiss but our sensei place his hand between our lips. The Uchiha glared at him. He used his hand and pulled my face towards him. Kakashi pressed our lips together and pulled back quickly so Sasuke wouldn't kill him.

" Aw don't be all jealous Sasuke, I just wanted to get the first kiss in." Kakashi said wrapping his arms around Sasuke's waist. His lips descended on the sensitive skin of where the curse mark used to be. The Uchiha's face contorted in bliss. Sasuke pressed our lips together and he shoved his tongue into my mouth, which was slightly parted from shock.

Sasuke's tongue was almost as inexperienced as my own, which made me feel less inadequate. I ran my fingers through his hair. It was surprisingly soft. He hissed into our kiss and I noticed Kakashi's hand had slipped into his pants. He moaned against my lips and he rubbed his hands up and down my body. I shivered at his touches, they lit my nerves on fire. He broke our kiss and attacked my neck. He flicked one of my nipples and pinched the other, making my breath hitch slightly. Ok maybe Sasuke wasn't as inexperienced as I had once thought.

" Ok children enough of the baby stuff." Kakashi said stopping all of his ministrations. Sasuke let out a slight moan of disappointment. Our sensei sat down on his bed and motioned for us to follow him. We sat down next to him. Sasuke pushed me down onto his bed and started to remove my pants. He kissed my neck to try and relax all the feelings that I was experiencing. This was far beyond weird. After had removed mine he removed his own. I looked down to see all of Sasuke. The first thing that crossed my mind was DAMN! He was very well equipped down there. Now the situation became less awkward and more like embarrassing.

Sasuke made a slight move and brushed our arousals together. I moaned into his shoulder. He had started to pant at this point. We heard a wild cracking sound and turned to see Kakashi playing with a whip. Lets just say any arousal we had been feeling was now gone.

" Now we shall play the obedience game!" He said with a chipper smile. He wouldn't be smiling if he was on the wrong end of that whip. " Both of you must bow to your sensei."

Again with the whole bowing things. I didn't see why he wanted us to do it so much. Sasuke and I got onto our knees in front of him and bowed. When we brought our heads up from the floor, he was shaking his. I looked at Sasuke, he shrugged at me.

" Bow to me over my bed. Face down." My eyes widened and I could tell Sasuke's had too. But we did as he commanded. He took the end of the whip and used to spread my legs a little more. I could feel the heat of my face. I looked over at Sasuke when he let out a sharp moan. Kakashi was pressing the metal tip of the whip into his entrance. He buried his face into the blanket, trying to suppress his cries. I felt a lubed finger at my entrance and wondered how long I'd been ignoring its presence.

Kakashi pushed in the finger. I grunted at the feeling of awkwardness. He shoved in a second one and I bit back a moan of slight pain. I kept reminding myself that it would get better. When he added the third finger and thrusted them gently. I moaned in pain but the cries turned from pain to pleasure within mere seconds. My prostate was being pressed with each small thrust of his finger. I looked back over at Sasuke. Kakashi had at one point made a clone of himself and was fingering Sasuke as well. The Uchiha gripped the sheets tightly, trying not to let out any cries of bliss. Kakashi's clone bit down ever so gently on Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke let out a scream of pleasure. He'd bitten the sensitive skin that resided there.

He pulled his fingers out of both of us. The clone disappeared with a 'poof' leaving us with the real Kakashi.

" I believe you both a ready to be more like adults." Kakashi said. Sasuke flipped over onto his back. I crawled over to him and straddled his waist. The tip of his cock teased my entrance, earning a slight moan. Kakashi slipped in between Sasuke's legs. I descended down onto Sasuke's cock in one fluid thrust. The pain shot up my spine and it was only made worse by Sasuke arching up when Kakashi thrust into him. Tears fell down my cheeks. Kakashi licked them off, making them stop. Sasuke was panting harshly, I could tell he was resisting the urge to thrust into me because it was cause him the pain of being stretched by Kakashi's large cock.

I moved first, trying to distract Sasuke from the pain he was feeling. It seemed to be working since he moaned. Kakashi wrapped his hand around my cock and pumped it in time with my descents. I bit my lip before moaning in absolute bliss. Kakashi thrusted again into Sasuke, who came up to meet me. Stars and spots danced in my vision causing me not to see straight. I started to move much faster and go down harder. I arched and fell back slightly. If Kakashi hadn't have been there, I would have fallen off. Sasuke let out a throaty moan, grabbing onto my hips. It made me go down with much more accuracy. I was so close.

Sasuke had long since closed his eyes, but on the occasion would spring open accompanied with a moan. Kakashi had began to kiss and mark my neck trying to establish a kind of dominance over me. It was all becoming too much. I moaned slightly trying to keep myself from cumming. Sensei decided that he would start fisting me harder. I screamed as I had my orgasm on Sasuke's chest and Kakashi's hand. Sasuke winced as I tightened on him. He thrust into me one last time before filling me. I moaned at the feeling of his hot cum. Kakashi pulled out of Sasuke and pulled me off the Uchiha's lap. He pushed into me and I moaned at the sudden intrusion.

I moaned as I was fucked face down into Kakashi's bed. Sasuke watched in morbid fascination as he thrust in and out of me, hitting my prostate with deadly accuracy. I screamed in such pleasure. Sasuke got in front of me and grabbed my face. His tongue pressed into my mouth. Our tongues dance together in pleasure. Saliva dribbled from my lips and Sasuke pulled back from me and licked it off. Kakashi started to thrust more erratically, signaling that he was close. The Uchiha and I continued to kiss. It was so lusty and passionate that I came a second time. That's what set our sensei off the edge. My vision went hot white as he came.

" Unfortunately for you two I have to reinforce survival lesson number one. Never let the enemy get the upper hand." Kakashi said disappearing with both of our clothes. When I saw him again he would be dead. Sasuke started for the door.

" What are you doing?" I yelled at him. He was stark naked and standing in the doorway.

" Well considering most people want to see naked anyway I don't think it'll be such a big deal."

I watched in awe as Sasuke left. I sighed, now I would have to wait alone for the cover of darkness to once again slip back home, praying no one saw their new Hokage running stark ass naked from their Sensei's home. Life is hard.

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**Hurray threesome. Hope you enjoyed this chappy!**

**Sasuke: why did you have to get me involved in this nonsense  
Me : Well I wanted to write a threesome and I could only think you would show at Kakashi's house for no reason  
Sasuke: Oh sure  
Naruto: Feel the pain Sasuke, feel it  
Sasuke: The only one feeling the pain is you! -tackles Naruto-  
Me: Sweet. This was Hitoko-Sama.**


	3. Cardio

**HURRAY ANOTHER BRILLIANT CHAPTER OF BEAUTIFUL SMUT! Naruto's PV------------------------------------**

About a week into me being Hokage, Tsunade woke up. Everyone was overjoyed to say the least. I even tried to give up my position to her, she refused of course. But she did wish me the best and said she needed some time to clear her head. I wished her well as she set off with Shizune. I wondered when they would return…

I sat in my office, looking over the daily paper work about small missions and assignments that didn't really need my approval. There was a knock on my door and it gave way to Sasuke. The Uchiha decided to be my advisor, for reasons unknown to me. But everyday he'd walk in he'd give me that all too knowing glance. I cursed Sasuke mentally as he set another stack of papers on my desk. We both sighed.

" Going to be another all nighter, huh?" The Uchiha asked fixing his hair in the reflection of the window. I nodded once and pulled out my approve stamp. I flipped through the pages and hit every single one of them. This job was so boring sometimes.

Sasuke sat down on the edge of my desk. He didn't speak but he just sat there, keeping me company. Secretly, I wanted to thank him for staying with me. I get so lonely in this large office by myself…when Kakashi is watching me through the window…wait.

I looked again at the window and I saw him there. He waved at me as he made his way inside. Sasuke decided that it was a good time to leave. He bolted out that door faster than I could get out of my chair. I sprinted to the door with all my might, only to get caught at the last second. He jumped onto my back and knocked me to the floor. He grabbed both of my ankles, dragging me back to my desk. He made me sit down in my chair.

" WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS KAKASHI!?" I yelled at him, waving my arms. He rested his face against one of his fingers and looked deeply in thought. I thought about escaping at that moment but knew it was pointless. He would just catch me again. He looked down at me and smiled.

" How about we have another lesson today?" Kakashi said dragging me out of my chair and out the door. He walked us down the Hokage tower, where we saw Sasuke. I glared as we passed. He gave the signal to run but I couldn't with Kakashi's iron grip on my arm. When we were at the bottom of the stairs, he stopped. He pointed to the gate of the village.

" Lesson number three; cardio. If you can beat me to the gate of the village, I'll leave you alone."

" Really?" Kakashi nodded but then turned in the opposite direction.

" I hope you don't mind if I take the long way." And then he was off. I leapt into action. Kakashi must have lost it or something; this was the short way and he completely bypassed it. After a few minutes I could why.

It was midday. Everyone had either just got off work or was shopping for tonight's dinner. And the way I was going had every single apartment or kiosk that sold food. I cursed Kakashi for being so clever. I jumped onto the roof tops but it didn't really help all too much. There was far too much space between one roof and the next. I found myself almost falling to my death on a few too many occasions.

I had to think of something. A plan to give me the upper hand. There were no secret tunnels or back alley ways that I could think of at the moment so that just left getting back onto the street and navigating through all the people. As soon as I jumped down, Sakura crossed my path. Lets just say it wasn't pretty.

" NARUTO!! YOU CLUMSY OAF!!" She screamed as she dusted herself off. She grabbed my collar and spun me up in the air. I felt my stomach become queasy and was afraid if I threw up, Sakura would only beat me up twice as hard. Finally she let go and sent me flying through the crowd of people.

I landed on my face and skidded across the ground for a few more yards before I stopped right in front of Ichiraku's. When I got to my feet, I saw an all to familiar figure sitting in my favorite spot. I moved the curtain and saw Kakashi sitting at the counter with a large bowl being served to him.

" Ah my best costumer! Hello, Naruto-Sama, shall I get you the usual?" Teuchi asked with a large smile on his face.

" Not right now…Kakashi how did you beat me here?" I asked sitting down next to him. He brushed some of the dirt of my face before separating his chop sticks. He pulled down his mask and ate all of his ramen faster than I even could. He slipped his mask back into place.

" I was hungry so I can in to have a meal. When I'm hungry I get determined. See yah!" Kakashi said running out of the shop, money floating in his place. I got to my feet quickly and chased after him. When I searched the area, Kakashi was no where to be seen. I kept on running, the gate wasn't much farther ahead, which struck fear into my heart. What if he had already beaten me there?

The gate was a straight shot ahead and I didn't see Kakashi there. But I did see him, starring at the new ' Icha Icha' movie billboard. I shook my head as I kept running. The guards monitoring the gate stared at me strangely as I finally got there. When I did I threw my hands up in the air and jumped around.

" Well its just like a young man to keep his sensei waiting." Kakashi said sitting behind the guard station. I screamed, like a girl as Kakashi scooped me up. He ran with me all the way back to his apartment. I struggled in his arms and everyone in the village looked at us like we were crazy. We passed Sai, who just busted out laughing. I would remember to kill him later. When we reached Kakashi's apartment he set me down and unlocked the door. I would have ran but he's far too quick. Perhaps I did need to work on my cardio…

He tossed me into his house and shut the door behind him. I got to my feet and decided to run through his house…which was not a very good idea since there was stuff everywhere. I ran straight into his room and tried to slam the door in his face but he was able to push it open without a single problem. He knocked me backwards onto the floor, straddling my waist.

" All your struggling makes me want you more." Kakashi said pinning my wrists above my head. I stopped all movement. He pulled off his mask and tossed it across the room. He attacked my neck first, leaving all sorts of marks and bites in his trail up my neck. I moaned a little. He took it as a good sign to continue. Then a thought occurred to me. This has happened so much why do I even bother fighting anymore? It does feel good…

Kakashi grabbed me from the floor and set me on his bed, gently. He lowered his lips onto mine. He nipped my bottom lip begging me for entrance, which I granted in no time. His tongue pushed in and explored every spot, gracing over my teeth and gums. He wrapped his tongue around mine and I moaned into the kiss.

He started to remove my clothing. Taking my shirt and robe off, he smiled at my non-resistance. He nuzzled my bare chest. His hands ghosted over my nipples, sending shivers down my spine. I let out a sigh of pleasure and he dropped his lips down my chest. He took one of nipples into his mouth while he flicked the other. Deciding I needed more he dropped lower, unhooking my pants with his teeth.

Kakashi wasted no time in sucking my cock into his mouth. I moaned, almost instantly. I tangled my fingers in his hair, gripping tightly on his scalp. He shoved three of his fingers into my mouth. I sucked on them greedily. He smirked around me. Kakashi pulled his mouth up a little and licked the head longingly. He looked up at me and we made eye contact. It made my heart race. Heat raced across my cheeks, staining them pink. He removed his mouth from my erection and dropped his head lower. At first I wasn't sure what he was doing, until I felt his slippery muscle at my entrance.

" Uh! Kakashi…" I cried out as I gripped the sheets. My moans continued as he swirled it around and shoved it inside slightly. He thrusted his tongue in and out, making my vision blur. Kakashi rubbed soothing circles into my thigh, working his way up to my erection. He started to tug it in time with the thrusts of his tongue. He finally pulled his tongue out and trailed his fingers down my stomach. He slid in one finger into me while he brought his mouth up. He started to nipple the tip while shoving in a second finger. He was moving much faster than he usually did. But then again we've only done it like two times so I have no idea what's going fast for him.

He smiled up at me while taking my entire cock into his mouth again. I moaned and tore at the sheets on his bed. Kakashi shoved in the third finger. I winced slightly and Kakashi noticed. He started to suck me much harder, distracting me from the slight pain. There was a familiar coiling in my stomach and Kakashi noticed how close I was. He removed his mouth and fingers. He removed his shirt, which I had forgotten that he kept on and stared at me.

" Tell me you want this." He said with a large smirk. The blood came rushing to my face again.

" I want it."

" Want what?"

" You to fuck me…" I felt so dirty when those words came out, but I almost at the same time it was good. Like a weight was lift off my chest. He smirked wider at my response and unzipped his pants, pulling them down enough to where he cock was out.

I licked my lips at the sight. He nudged my entrance with it and I relaxed my muscles so he could slid in easier. Kakashi shoved it in with one strong thrust. I bit back a scream of pain. But he waited for me to adjust before thrusting again. He started slowly, with an even pace but picked it up when I trust against him.

I moaned into Kakashi's shoulder. He started to thrust deeper and I was about to loose it. There was so much built up pressure from me holding it in. I came onto his chest and some of it hit my cheek. He smirked and licked it off. I clenched onto him and he grunted, biting my shoulder. I squeaked in pleasure and trailed my nails down his back. He smirked while he flipped me onto my hands and knees. He went so deep that I got hard instantly.

With every thrust, he brushed my prostate. I was moaning into the sheets and fisting them tightly as Kakashi pounded into me with all his might. It was hard not to scream in absolute bliss. He grabbed onto my erection and started to jerk me hard. I was about to go over the edge again. He knew it.

Kakashi's thrusts become extremely erratic, signaling that he was so close. I squeezed his cock with my muscles and he let out a throaty moan. I bit my lip as he drove deeper. It was just so much pleasure. I screamed his name into the sheets as I came but, he pulled my head up to hear me. He gave one last good thrust and came inside me. The hot liquid made me moan. My head swam with pleasure and Kakashi trailed hot kisses down my neck.

" Maybe my cardio isn't so bad after all." I muttered. He laughed a little bit before gently pulling out.

" I wouldn't say that, because now you must use your cardio skills to get your clothes back…again." Kakashi said zipping his pants again. He ran out the door and I moaned in exhaustion. This time I wouldn't chase him. He would have to come home eventually.

----------

**Hurray another love fest! **

**Naruto: why does Kakashi always steal my clothes?  
Me: To reinforce lesson one, which apparently you aren't getting!  
Kakashi: Exactly. You leave yourself wide open to this  
Me: So until your skills improve and you learn all the rules, your clothes will be stolen!! MUHAHAHA! This was Hitoko-Sama**


	4. Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Burnt

**I BELIEVE IT IS TIME FOR A NARUTO RETALIATION!! NARUTO'S PV.  
----**

It had been a very good week for me. Not only was I able to send Kakashi on a long mission that would require him to wait on a very snobby princess that needed to be escorted back to her country but I could my revenge on him while he was gone. I chuckled to myself and Sasuke rolled his eyes. He knew of my plans and approved. He even offered to help attain said revenge, but I refused his offer. This was my moment of glory.

After all the paperwork and other important matters had been attended to I decided to leave for the night. I said my goodbyes to Sasuke who only smirked at my devilish plans. I walked down from the Hokage tower to the streets where people bowed to me, just like every other day. I nodded my acknowledgment to them. But I wasn't in a mood to deal with my fellow villagers. I had bigger fish to fry.

You know what's great about being the Hokage? No one questions when you bust someone's door in. And that's exactly what I did to Kakashi's. I wanted him to know I was there. There in his house where I would exact my revenge. I mentally smirked as I headed towards his bedroom. For other past experiences I learned where Kakashi kept his most prized possessions. And I knew that if I stole them, he would not be able to function like a normal person. So I learned over his bed to be able to see the prize taped underneath. Releasing them from their shiny, silver prison I smirked as I stuffed them into a pocket in my robe. I smirked as I left his house. Phase one of my plan was being set into action. I thought about laughing manically but I had a feeling if someone saw it they'd call the ANBU and say I was an impostor...

Kakashi returned the next day. And there wasn't a single happy bone left in his body. From the mission evaluation that he filled out I could tell that the princess hadn't taken it easy on him. I laughed at what he had written as a summary of the mission.

' _Besides the obvious, the mission was much more difficult that I anticipated. It seems that in my brief stay with the princess, she developed a small crush on me. Which didn't go over well with her fiance. And I told him I didn't want her, which he took as an insult( So did she) and he proceeded to try and beat me up. I was able to knock him out cold but the large guards threw me out of the palace before I could even collect the money they owed me. I decided that it would be best if I scaled the wall and broke into the palace...Turns out that the brick was very old and crumpled when the slightest shift in weight. I fell a few good times that night...But when I was going to try a final time when the young man came out to see what all the commotion was about. I told him my predicament and he nodded his head and handed me a small, white envelope. He said told me not to count the money and just bring it to the Hokage. And that's just what I did.' _

I looked down at the envelope in my hand. I grabbed a letter-opener and pulled out the paper that was enclosed. I flipped it open and in big red word he wrote. "**DISTRACTION COMPLETE HOKAGE-SAMA!" **

Luckily for me, the princess in question was a close friend of mine that I met in my travel's with Jiraiya. His fiance was just an added bonus thrown in the mix. I loved the people I knew, they are the best. I smirked as Sasuke walked into my office.

" I assume that everything is going as planned Hokage-Sama." Sasuke said as he walked over to my desk. He sat down on the far corner and looked at me. I gave him a cheeky grin.

" OF COURSE! It's all going perfectly. And what I have done so far is only the beginning of what will be done." I said with a playful hint to my tone. Sasuke smirked at me and handed me the papers I had asked for. Oh yes, all was going according to plan.

The next morning Kakashi busted into my office. Sasuke had already taken his usual spot by my side and we both smirked at our former sensei. He fell to his knees that exact moment and crawled his way over to me. He placed his head in my lap and looked up at me pleadingly. Sasuke's smirk grew wider. He reached up and grabbed my collar, pulling me down to his level.

" Why? Why did you ban the 'Icha Icha Paradise' movie in the village? WHY NARUTO WHY? And someone broke into my house and stole the only thing that could make everything ok again....THEY STOLE ALL MY ICHA ICHA BOOKS! AND YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING TO FIND THE PERSON!!" He let go of my collar and sunk down to the ground. He started to roll around and stopped when he hit a wall. I almost felt bad for him...Almost.

" Kakashi I have reasons for everything I do. The movie would have so many kids sneaking into it, I would be swamped with paper work about their punishments. And as for your books I'll help you look for them after I finished up here. Just meet me at my house at about eight." Before he could reply I snapped my fingers. Sasuke nodded and picked up Kakashi throwing him out of my office. It was so great to have a bouncer.

When I arrived back at my house I took the books out from under my mattress. Sasuke had followed to give me a scroll in secret. He nodded his goodbyes and quickly left. I only had a limited amount of time before Kakashi came over so I had to get everything ready right away....

When Kakashi walked in he got an eyeful. I leaned against the door frame and licked my lips. I was still wearing my hokage coat only I had taken off my shirt and had dawned a pair of tight jeans that dipped low in the hip. My nipples were hard, I made sure I had aroused them enough to juice an orange. I opened the scroll Sasuke had given me laid it on the floor. The fire was ablaze in seconds. I grabbed on of the his books and dangled it over the flames.

" WAH! NO! DON'T DO IT!!" He screamed at me. I pulled the book back and raised an eyebrow at him.

" Oh and what will you do for me?" That's right I had the upper hand. I tossed my coat away and stood there in low rider jeans, waiting for Kakashi to make the next move.

" Well I'll let you live if you give me back my books." I tossed the first one into the fire. He screamed and dove for the fire. He almost reached in to get the charred remains but I stepped on his hand so he wouldn't. He ran his free hand up my leg to my stomach. I rolled my eyes and released his other foot. He reached his head up and pulled down his mask. He started to kiss and lick every inch of skin he could. I tried to pull back from him but he got a firm grip on my ass and pulled me towards him. He unbuttoned and unzipped my pants. He pulled them down and threw them to the side. Kakashi was greeted with pulsing erection.

He rubbed his thumb against the tip and my breath hitched a little. This time I was able to pull away from him and grabbed another book from the stack. Kakashi crawled to me and tried to take them from me. I laughed and moved them out of the way. He growled at me and tackled me to the ground. I rolled us over so I was on top. I sat on his chest, my erect cock hanging in front of his mouth. He leaned up and gave it a single kiss.

" So Kakashi what will you do for me?" He glared at me for a moment and I shook the book in front of his face. The pages were slightly singed from being held so close to the fire. I got off his chest and sat down at my dinning table. He walked to me and got onto his knees. Kakashi took me into his hand and started to pump it. I started to pant slightly. He looked up at me as he started to lick me from base to tip. I smirked a little bit at his anger. He had brought this upon himself. He grated his teeth against me and my breath hitched. Kakashi looked up at me and took half of my cock into his mouth. He almost looked better with it in his mouth.

At some point he had gotten his finger wet cause he was pressing a slicked digit into my entrance. I moaned slightly as he wasted no time to slide in a second one. I moaned like a whore when he started to scissor me. He looked up at me and smirked. I fisted his hair and thrust up into his mouth. He growled at me and I started to smirk. He thrust in the third finger I screamed. I don't know why....

He laughed around me and started to thrust the digits hard. I started to moan louder and louder with each thrust. Kakashi shoved more of me down his throat and hummed a tune that seemed very familiar. But ignored my query to focus on the pleasure that was tingling down my spine. I moaned more as the coil in my stomach started to tighten. I was getting close. So very close. Kakashi knew it to and started to unbutton his pants. I busted out laughing.

" Oh, so you want to fuck huh? How is that doing something for me, you seem to forget that I'm in control here." I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes. He raised his eyebrow at me and nodded.

" Well if your so in control, you should be able to do it yourself." He said laying back. I hesitated. " Oh what? Are you too much of a baby to do it yourself? Then by all means allow me to shove it in."

" Shut it! I can do it myself!" I huffed. He dared to taunt me. I straddled his waist and slowly started to descend on his cock. He helped me slightly by pulling my cheeks apart. He thrust up a little and rubbed the tip of his cock against my hole. I groaned and ground down hard. It was his turn to moan. And he moaned loudly too. I lowered myself a little more and I got a few inches of his cock inside of me. I could tell he was trying not pound into me. He gripped tightly onto my hips and shoved me all the way down. I screamed in pain. It felt as if I was being ripped in half....yet it was still strangely arousing. My cock dribbled a little when I felt him inside me fully. I raised myself back up and went down again. I threw my head back and did it again. He was going so deep that I didn't even know what he was hitting that was causing so much pleasure. He had surely already passed my prostate.

Kakashi bit his lip as I picked up the pace. I was moaning loudly as I descended and I could tell that he liked it. I may have felt slightly whorish that I was loving this so much but I didn't give a fuck. He grabbed onto my weeping cock and started to pump it in time with my thrusts. I could feel my control starting to slip as my vision blurred. Kakashi noticed and knocked me off his lap and onto my hands and knees.

" If you liked that, you'll love this." Kakashi muttered burying himself to the hilt. I moaned in ecstasy as he thrust into me hard and fast. He was giving it to me rough and I loved it. He was pushing against me so hard that my arms gave out. My face and upper body smacked into the floor as my ass was pounded into mercilessly. I screamed while I came. I clenched around Kakashi and he smacked my ass. It startled me which made me clench again. He moaned against my shoulder and tilted my head back. Our lips connected in a sloppy kiss and he gently prodded my mouth open with his tongue. His tongue pushed against mine and he drank from my mouth. His cock twitched inside me, making moan into our kiss. He rubbed his tongue against my teeth and gums, tasting me. I gently pushed his tongue back with mine. He wrapped the slippery appendage around mine pulling on it slightly. He cock twitched again and I wondered how much this really turned him on.

I screamed, breaking the kiss, as his thrusts started to strike my prostate erratically. My eyes started to roll back in my head and he started to thrust harder and harder until he gave one last hard thrust. He filled me with his warm seed and made me moan with arousal. He waited a few moments before pulling out of me. I laid there completely exhausted. Kakashi on the other hand was able to get up right away. He grabbed up his beloved books and cooed to them as if they were his children. I rolled my eyes at the lame display before me. That's when I realized he had my clothes above the fire.

" It seems like the shoe is on the other foot Hokage-Sama, so what will you give me?" I glared at him and crawled over to his half-hard erection. Taking it in my hand I realized that I should have burned all the books when I had the chance. It would have broken his spirit.  
-----

**AW! Even though it was Naruto's revenge, Kakashi still managed to get the upper hand! But at least he didn't steal his clothes....**

Naruto: Damn Kakashi  
Me: Aw you can't be mad...He's just a bit quicker than you are.  
Naruto: I'll get him back! I SWEAR IT  
Me: Yeah sure.  
Naruto: You don't think I can do you?  
Me: Yeah sure I believe in you....- looking at funny videos on youtube.- hehe silly kitty  
Naruto: This was Hitoko-Sama....


	5. NEVER MESS WITH SENSEI'S DIRTY BOOKS

**I WOULD LOVE TO THANK! In The Mix**_**( for thinking it was a real update and reviewing anyway!), **_**SugarSweetLolitaPrincessx**_**( for crazy camping trips gone awry!), **_**Death Pheonix**_**( for 'knowing who you belong to' I could have fun with that.), **_**sesshypuppysbff**_**( for turning my own words into a great idea I might use for the end), **_**1Aryana**_**( For crazy cat ladies and horrible missions for dear sweet Kakashi!) **_**But sadly I was watching TV and saw a brilliant idea for a Lesson! but don't worry possibly ladies and gentleman. I will use these Ideas eventually! Naruto's PV and it will switch up a little bit.  
-**

" Hello children and welcome to Solitary." I perked up hearing a voice but turned to find no one around me. I had been sealed up in a metal room that had no exits except one to a bathroom...which I was terrified of using just in case there was some kind of camera in there to watch me. I had tried to call for help and only exceeded in thrashing my vocal cords and I also tried to kick open one of the walls, only to find out that they had been so reinforced that even if I let the Kyuubi take over I wouldn't have been able to break through. So I just sat down waiting for more contact.

" Oh number one, it seems as if you've already given up." I looked up to see a screen being lowered into the room. There was no person for a picture, instead it was a concentric circle. Number one? What the hell was going on? " Number one...are you alright? You aren't responding to me."

" My name is Naruto! Not 'number one' and where the hell am I? Who the hell are you and why should I even listen to you?" The voice just laughed a little before going completely silent. I was starting to become anxious and my mind was reeling. Who could have done this? And why? Was it someone after the Kyuubi? And what did they mean when they said 'children' in the beginning? Were there others here?

" I assure you all questions will be answered in due time. But for now we must begin treatment. For starters you can call me Kashi. There are two others here with you number one. Number two and three. They are also waiting for further instructions so I suggest you be patient with your questions and let me do what I set out to do. There is a drawer next to you labeled ' Food.' Pull it open and wait for further instructions."

I did as I was told and opened the drawer. Inside was wasabi, one of the spiciest things in the world. I cringed a little as the smell entered my nose. I wasn't much of a spicy food eater and I definitely didn't want to eat that.  
-

Sasuke was pissed to say the least. He had somehow been captured and put in a metal box that he could not escape from. He tried and had at least a broken toe to prove it. He sat in the far corner of his box with his arms crossed over his chest and had a permanent scowl planted onto his face. He also sported the Uchiha's signature glare, which he hoped would eventually eat through the wall opposite him.

" Hello children and welcome to Solitary." Sasuke got to his feet then. He looked around waiting to take down whoever was talking. He was going to kill them with his bare hands for what they were doing to him. No one messes with Uchiha Sasuke and gets away with it. A screen was dropped down in front of him and scoffed. The person who did this to him must have been smart. He knew not to show any kind of body part. Sasuke defiantly would have ripped it off.

" Oh ho, why so upset number two? Don't like surprises?" The Uchiha glared at the screen since it was the closest thing to an actual human.

" No, I fucking hate surprises especially this kind. Naruto is that you? If it is, its really not funny. I will kill you, Hokage or not!"

" I know no Naruto, I only know people by numbers. You can call me Kashi...But to make you feel better you are not the only one who is receiving this treatment. There are two others here with you. Number one and three. They are awaiting further instructions. So be good number two and let me give the first part of your treatment. There is a drawer labeled 'Food' next to you. Open it and wait for further instructions."

Sasuke glared at the screen but shrugged. He turned to the drawer and pulled it out slowly. His eyes widened when he saw there was nothing but chocolates and cake inside. He shivered with disgust. HE HATED SWEETS! Only a select few people knew about his hatred for sweets and those people included Naruto...He was becoming more and more suspicious as the moments ticked on.  
-

Suigetsu was completely content with his surrounding. He didn't have to deal with Karin or Juugo in here. Admittedly he did miss Sasuke a little, but that's because the Uchiha's ass was a haven for wonderful things. Plus it was super hilarious seeing him get angry. Suigetsu smirked a little and one of his pointed teeth popped out from behind his lip. Maybe when he finally got out of here, he would hit Sasuke up for a couple drinks and some drunken hazy sex. Then he would, once again, brag to Karin about having sex with the 'god-like' Uchiha! The watery nin could barely contain his excitement.

" Hello children and welcome to Solitary!" Suigetsu got off his ass and looked around. There was no one in the cell with him. He already checked. There was just a bathroom and the room he was currently in. A screen descended before him and a concentric circle started to talk to him. The watery nin just smirked. All of this was just a crazy dream. He nodded confidently.

" Number three, you seem much more chipper than the other two guests. Why is that?"

" Oh! That's because this is all a crazy dream, I'm just waiting for Sasuke to appear in the nude so I can fuck him." Suigetsu said with a large smirk on his face. He continued to nod in the silence that followed his comment.

" Um...This isn't a dream. You are actually here and about to under go my treatment. Numbers one and two have already received instructions." Suigetsu paused, smirking dropping from his face. He started to scream and run around his cell. The screen voice sighed but after a few moments the watery nin stopped and walked back over to the screen.

" What's the big idea? I didn't do anything to deserve this...I think. Kisame? Is that you? Are you here to punish me from beyond the grave?"

" No, this isn't Kisame. You may call me, Kashi. And to start off your treatment there is a drawer next to you with the word 'food' on it. Open the drawer and wait for further instructions." Suigetsu shrugged and opened the draw. He choked on his own saliva seeing that there were salty crackers inside. Salty foods made Suigetsu thirsty and whoever had kidnapped him had taken his water bottles...He would dry up if he ate these.

" You have to finish the food in front of you in a timely manor, the first one to finish and hit the green button wins this challenge and is safe from the challenge after this. Also if you puke or fake it, its an automatic fail. And I will know if your lying. Good luck my patents."  
-

Ok from here i'm going to have three seperate things for each person. **Naruto, **_Sasuke_, Suigetsu, and according to which situation the voice's dialogue will be changed. But if it is addressing all three, it won't have any change.  
-

**I grabbed the wasabi paste and swallowed the spit gathering in my mouth. I shoved the spicy green paste into my mouth and felt my tongue set on fire. I wanted to spit it out so badly but it would only get me disqualified. I tried to swallow but my gag reflex wouldn't allow it. I had to hold the spicy stuff on my tongue for what seemed like eternity. Eventually my saliva started to dissolve it and the substance slowly started to go down my throat. But once it had entered my stomach, something happened. I grabbed the garbage can that was inside the drawer also. I emptied the content of my stomach into the can and placed it back into the drawer closing it.**

**" Number one, you threw up. I'm sorry to inform you that you've failed..."**

_Sasuke picked up one of the pieces of chocolate. He shoved it into his mouth and chewed it quickly. He could feel all of his training being ruined by this one treat. He picked up another and shoved it into his mouth. Eventually the small box of chocolate was gone and next off was the small piece of cake. Sasuke wasted no time by picking up the cake with his fingers and shoving the entire slice into his mouth. There was almost no problem swallowing it since Suigetsu had given him such useful practice. Sasuke got up and slapped the green button. He licked the corners of his mouth and sat down._

_" Good job number two. You have successfully eaten your food. But there was someone who finished before you...Number three was the first to complete the challenge." Sasuke's jaw went slack as he glared daggers at the screen. Whoever that number three guy was, he was going to pay. _

Suigetsu opened the package of crackers. He crushed them in his hand before shoving them down his throat. He swallowed dryly and continued to eat. His system seemed to be working because he was able to crush about ten crackers and eat them in no time. The package was empty before he remember what to do afterward. He got to his feet and quickly slapped the green button. The screen turned off and then came back to life as confetti started to fall from the ceiling. Suigetsu cheered and started to do some kind of random dance when the screen grabbed his attention.

" Congradulations, you have won the challenge. Number one puked and Number two finished a few seconds after you. You don't have to do the next treatment. Enjoy watching your two cell mates do the next challenge." The screen split in half. One half showed Naruto and the other showed Sasuke. He looked right pissed. 

" I must have beat Sasuke to the button." Suigetsu muttered..." I hope he doesn't find out."

" Also I have another reward. This really wasn't for you to begin with, it was for Naruto. You are now allowed to leave treatment whenever you want...or you can stay and watch what I have in store for them. They have to pay for what they put me through last week."

Slowly Suigetsu started to put all of the pieces together. 

" Kakashi?"

" Unfortunately, you have both failed my first challenge. So this calls for a penalty round. Please open your drawers."

**I walked over to the drawer and opened it. A bead of sweat dropped from my brow. Inside there was sex toys and all kinds of flavored lubricants. My throat felt suddenly dry and I think I found out who was behind this 'treatment.' Or should I say...Lesson.**

**" Kakashi...you are a truly horrible man." **

**" I love you too Naruto."**

_Sasuke opened his drawer. He shook slightly as he pulled out a long black vibrator. He shuddered a little and noticed all the other toys and lubricants. He was about to throw the toy at the screen when laughter interrupted him_

_" Number two, you have two options. You can either use the toys to satisfy yourself or you can have Suigetsu come to your cell and pleasure you. What do you choose?" _

_" Is he the one who beat me to the green button?"_

_" Why yes. Yes he was."_

_" Send him in." Sasuke said with a playful smirk on his lips. _

" Suigetsu, Sasuke has requested you in his chambers, do you accept?" Suigetsu looked at the screen warily.

" Does he know that I beat him?"

" No, of course not. Its not my job to tell him which number won the challenge." A door in Suigetsu's cell opened and he walked through it. Sasuke wanted him instead of a toy. That was so nice.

**I pulled out a long orange vibrator and set it aside. I needed a little more before action before I could get to that. I looked up at the screen and took out strawberry flavored lube.**

**" You know...I can't really do this without being horny. And I'm not even close to that. So how do you suggest I remedy that?"**

**" Well Naruto, I have a little something that could help..." The screen flashed to Sasuke just as Suigetsu walked into his cell.**

_Sasuke got to work right away. He slammed Suigetsu onto the floor and was atop him in a moment. He smirked at the watery man beneath him and lowered his face down for a kiss. Suigetsu used this moment to flip them. He kissed Sasuke deeply and he shoved his tongue into the Uchiha's mouth, making him moan a little into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Suigetsu's neck and his legs around his waist. Sasuke ground his pelvis into Suigetsu's showing that he was far more aroused than once thought. They both broke the kiss to moan and Suigetsu started to pull off Sasuke's shirt. The Uchiha assisted by lifting his arm. In a flash, both were sitting there in all their naked glory. Suigetsu had his hands all over Sasuke in an instant. He touched and rubbed all of his sensitive parts. Sasuke shuddered a little bit._

_" Do you want me?" Sasuke asked as he attacked Suigetsu's neck. The watery nin smiled so that one of his pointed teeth poked out. The Uchiha nipped at the skin and alternated between kisses and licks.  
_

_" Every second of every day." He said pushing Sasuke off of him onto the floor. He kissed down the Uchiha's chest and stomach until he got to his prize. He gave a long sultry lick to the head of Sasuke's pulsing cock. The Uchiha whimpered a little bit as Suigetsu could resist biting him ever so slightly. Sasuke arched a little when Suigetsu sucked on the head while he pumped his hands up and down the pale flesh. Suigetsu pulled one of his hands off the Uchiha and reached over to the drawer and grabbed a bottle of lube. He sucked in a little more of Sasuke for him to cope with losing both hands on his erection. The cap made a fun pop and Sasuke licked his lips, knowing what was to come. Suigetsu dripped some of the lube onto his fingers, noticing how it warmed on contact. He would have to remember to shove that in his pocket for later use._

_He shoved in one finger in and waited for Sasuke to adjust. A few long licks on the Uchiha's balls had him pressing down for more. Sasuke brought his hand to his lips and he was biting down on his palm, trying desperately to hide his sounds of pleasure. Suigetsu didn't like that and used his free hand to pin the Uchiha's down. He continued to suck as he added the second finger, pulling them apart to get a better stretch. Sasuke moaned loudly and started to push his hips down on the fingers inside of him. He arched when Suigetsu brushed his prostate._

_" Ughn. There, do it there!" Sasuke cried out as Suigetsu started to hum around his cock. He shoved a third finger inside and that's when Sasuke lost all control. He was balling his hands into fists, closing his eyes tightly only to have them ripped open by some pleasurable force, and he was biting his lip so hard blood was starting to spill down his chin. Suigetsu looked up for a moment and his mouth fell open in awe. The Uchiha had sexiest uke of the year written all over him. Before Suigetsu knew was was happening Sasuke came into his open mouth. Some of it splattered on his chest and the watery nin licked off all the remainder, swallowing every drop. Suigetsu pulled his fingers out of the Uchiha and let his wrists fall. _

_" Do you want me to fuck you Sasuke?" Suigetsu asked positioning his cock next to the Uchiha's waiting hole. Sasuke licked his lips and wrapped his arms around Suigetsu's neck._

_" Yes, I want you to make me scream 'til I can't breathe anymore. I want you to pound my hole until I can't walk straight. Fuck me Suigetsu." The watery nin did not need anymore of an invitation than that. _

_He thrust it all the way in and stilled himself so he wouldn't cause Sasuke too much pain. The Uchiha groaned in discomfort but just took some calming breaths so he could adjust easier. Suigetsu pulled himself out and then pushed back in again. He was keeping it at a slow pace so it wouldn't hurt but that's when he felt something smooth and wet enter him. He looked back to see a black vibrator being shoved into him by a very familiar pale hand. _

_" Kakashi told you didn't he?" _

_" Of course he did." Sasuke said as he turned the vibrator on. Suigetsu moaned loudly as it buzzed against his prostate. Sasuke was good. Real good. He thrust hard into the Uchiha, making him arch. Suigetsu grabbed Sasuke's legs and wrapped them firmly around his waist and stood up. He pushed Sasuke against the wall and started ramming into him. Sasuke still had a good hold on the vibrator inside his lover and thrust it deeper every so often to make sure it wouldn't fall out. Suigetsu bit down on the Uchiha's shoulder to suppress his moans of pleasure. He grabbed onto Sasuke's cock and fisted him in time with his thrusts. The Uchiha was arching and moaning uncontrollably now, it was a signal to Suigetsu that he was close. And that was good cause he didn't know how much longer he could take this. _

_" God! Fuck me harder! More! Give me more!" Suigetsu complied and started to thrust even harder than he thought possible. Sasuke was a moaning mess by this time. He dug his nails into Suigetsu's back and droplets of water started to run down his skin. The watery nin bit down on the junction of Sasuke's shoulder and neck, knowing the skin was sensitive due to the curse mark. The Uchiha couldn't handle it and came onto Suigetsu's stomach. The watery nin couldn't do it much longer, the tightness and the vibrator in his ass. He came into Sasuke's tight heat. He pulled the vibrator out and kissed the Uchiha on every part of skin he could. _

**I was so aroused at that point the only option was masturbation. I became aware of how aroused as soon as Suigetsu started to suck Sasuke off. I found myself imaging what it would be like if that was me instead of Sasuke. My cock throbbed and I finally released it from its clothes prison._ S_lowly I started to rub my cock as I watch Suigetsu suck. I closed my eyes and just started listening to the noise. Their moans and whimpers of pleasure. I bit down on my lip and I dropped one of my hands to my balls and fondled them. I arched a little bit and I brought one of my hands to my mouth. Fuck the lube, I wanted to do this my way. I sucked and nipped at my fingers, making sure they were nice and wet before trailing down my stomach. The muscles in my stomach contracted and I couldn't help but moan a little. When I finally got to my entrance I teased it a little bit before plunging my middle finger inside. Then I shoved a second finger in. I had to rub my cock hard when that happened. It stung a little more than it would have if I used lube. **

**I moaned a little bit as I added the third finger. It was becoming crazy how aroused I was just from watching barely any sex. Maybe Kakashi was starting to have a bit of an effect on me. I swallowed a groan of pleasure as I struck my own prostate. Saliva dribbled down my chin and I suddenly wished I had someone to kiss. Just the thought of kissing made me get even hotter.**

**I pulled out my fingers and grabbed the orange vibrator. I poured some of the lube onto it and slowly inserted it inside of me. I moaned as I turned it on. Yep that was it. I almost screamed as the vibrations hit me like a brick. My prostate was definitely going to be sore tomorrow. **

**Damn I didn't think it was going to be this quick...My stomach muscles began to tighten and the all too familiar feeling of heat began to burn through my veins. I thrust back against the vibrator. My cock leaked a little as the vibrations just seemed to get more and more intense. Everything started to blur and I just couldn't hold back anymore. I came onto the screen as Sasuke and Suigetsu hit their climaxes as well. Seems like we were all on the same page...**

" Congratulations you have all passed my lesson with flying colors. NEVER FUCK WITH SENSEI'S DIRTY BOOKS!"

**Yep...I was going to kill him.**

-

**Hurray I finished! I hope you guys like my update. It was smuttily delicious in my mind! Hehe.  
Naruto: Hey there's good news about this chapter...  
Me: What's that?  
Naruto: I DIDN'T GET MY CLOTHES STOLEN!  
Me: Congratulations, its a miracle.  
Naruto: ITS A VICTORY FOR ME! This was Hitoko-Sama.  
**


	6. A Quick Lesson In Love

**Ok…I'm gonna continue the lovely torture. Hehe maybe there will be a threesome in this chapter…or perhaps A FOURSOME! Who knows. Naruto's Pv… MUHAHAHA**

I laid there completely exhausted. Kakashi really was getting his revenge for the books I burnt. He had just made me run around for what seemed like hours, in a hot gorilla suit, trying to beat Sasuke and Suigetsu in a strange race. But unfortunately I had failed this challenge. I assumed Sasuke had won since he had the most endurance when it came to running for long periods of time.

" Poor Hokage-Sama, you looked like you're about to pass out with exhaustion." Kakashi taunted as the screen dropped down in my room. I glared daggers at it which made him chuckle. " Unfortunately, you have failed my treatment, so please stand up and go to your food box."

I did as I told, grumbling the entire way about how Kakashi was an evil bastard who needed to die…He was SOOOO lucky I was easy going, otherwise I would have him killed. Though I was really considering it now. I opened the drawer and saw there was a key. I pulled it out with and gave the screen a look.

" All you have to do is open that door and go through it. Your punishment awaits you on the other side." I rolled my eyes and unlocked the door. I pushed the door open...

" Sasuke, Suigetsu. I know you're tired but I have a request for you…Naruto has failed his treatment and I would like you to give him a punishment he'll never forget. Can you do that for me?"

The duo looked at each other and both smirked.

" Sure Kakashi, we'll do it. Send him in."

I walked in and was instantly attacked by Suigetsu. Sasuke smirked as I was dragged to him by his lover. The Uchiha stroked my face and pulled me into his lap. I don't know why but my face started to heat up at the slightest touches Sasuke provided me. Suigetsu started to kiss my neck as Sasuke pulled my face to his, he licked my lower lip before sucking it into his mouth. He nibbled on it, making me moan. He slipped his tongue into my mouth as Suigetsu nipped at a sensitive spot on my neck. I moaned into Sasuke's mouth and the Uchiha smirked.

The watery nin slid his hand down my back to my ass and gave it a nice squeeze before lightly drumming his fingers against it. I knew I had a good ass, that jiggled with 'cushion', they amply named it. I could feel Suigetsu's hands coming around my waist and dropping into my pants. He passed through my boxers and he gently started to stroke me. This caused me to pull away from Sasuke, who licked his lips with desire. He started to peel off my shirt, tossing it to the side. He nodded to Suigetsu who pulled his hand out of my pants and started to unbutton them. He threw the pesky items aside as I worked on Sasuke's clothes. Soon we were all nakedly groping and touching each other…It was great really.

My erection had grown increasingly painful with every caress and kiss I received. The tip was turning a slight redish color, aching with pent up desire. Sasuke eyed Suigetsu who stopped sucking on my neck to look back at his lover. I could hear the nod as I was pushed forward and positioned carefully into Sasuke's lap. I was face down, my ass up in the air for everyone to see, and my cock was pressing into the Uchiha's thigh…I was blushing profusely now.

" Are you ready for your treatment Naruto?" Sasuke asked as he ran his hand down my ass. He rubbed it soothingly and I whimpered with pleasure. Suigetsu got in front of me and I raised my head. I was face to face with his engorged cock. Sasuke licked his hand before bringing it high above his head, he brought it down hard against my ass, making me moan in surprise. Suigetsu shoved his cock into my mouth while I moaned. I almost gagged on his massive cock but was slowly able to relax my throat. He gripped the sides of my face and thrusted in. I moaned at the thought of someone fucking my face…The whole idea was just so hot.

Sasuke brought his hand down against me, again. I squealed and squirmed in his lap, which made him squirm with pleasure as I rubbed against his cock. The Uchihas' strikes weren't letting up and they only increased my bliss. I didn't know I was such a masochist…I loved every single blow that was placed on my ass. Sasuke rubbed my ass with his hand soothingly as Suigetsu's thrusts slowed. I licked the underside of his cock, trying my best to cause him as much pleasure as I could. He moaned and grabbed a fistful of my hair, trying to push even more of himself down my throat. Sasuke seemed to be purring with pleasure as he watched us. It must have been very arousing to see two of his lovers going at it with such intensity.

Sasuke, at some point, had slicked his fingers. He shoved one into my entrance and I moaned. He gently curled his finger and thrusted it in and out of me. I moaned around Suigetsu cock, which made him arch into my mouth. I relaxed more to accommodate the massive amount of girth being shoved down my throat. When Sasuke added he second finger I flinched. He pulled his fingers apart and back together as he thrusted deeper into me. I moaned making the watery nin's cock slip out of my mouth. He growled with pleasure and shoved it back in.

All of this was really hard to take. I was getting so aroused and my cock was so painfully hard. Sasuke thrust his third finger in and my eyes rolled back in my head. He stroked my prostate with a simple thrust of his fingers and black dots danced in my vision.

" Enough of the small stuff, I want some real action." Suigetsu said as he pulled out of my mouth. I licked at my lips and noticed how sore they were. No doubt that Suigetsu had bruised them with his thrusts. Sasuke pulled me into a straddling position, our erections rubbed together for a brief moment making us both moan. He laid down and my hole was pressed against the tip of his cock.

Suigetsu moved Sasuke's hip slightly, opening his legs much wider. He rubbed his erection against the Uchiha's entrance and he moaned.

" Ok, all together now! One…Two…Three." And with that pushed Sasuke's cock into my ass as Suigetsu slammed into Sasuke. We all let out moans. I sat on his cock for what seemed like an eternity before I felt him push up into me. My mind was hazy and I realized that I needed to move to continue the pleasure that was shooting through my veins. I slowly pulled myself up and down, at a nice slow pace. He was reaching me much deeper than I thought possible. His cock was hitting my prostate roughly and I couldn't help but moan like a whore as the bliss ricocheted up my spine.

Suigetsu had finally started to thrust into Sasuke. He waited a bit longer since he hadn't prepared the Uchiha first…Well to my knowledge anyway. Sasuke bit his lip as I descended on his cock and Suigetsu thrusted at the same time. It was obvious that Sasuke wouldn't last as long as me or Suigetsu. He was experiencing twice as much pleasure as we were.

" Well isn't this a nice sight." Kakashi said as he walked into the room. I let out a moan of bliss as Sasuke arched up and off the ground. " I hope you don't mind if I cut in…"

He pulled me off Sasuke's cock and I whimpered with the loss of contact. Suigetsu pulled the Uchiha up and turned him so he was sitting on the watery nin's cock. Kakashi smirked as I felt him enter me…Since when did he take out his cock? My mind was too far gone to even comprehend regular thoughts. He bucked up into my heat and struck my prostate head on. I moaned loudly and looked over at Sasuke. We were facing each other which somehow made me hotter.

He had the tips of his fingers pressed against the ground as Suigetsu thrusted harshly into him. The watery nin was licking at the sensitive skin where the curse mark had resided. I leaned forward and grabbed Sasuke's face pulling it towards me. He poked his tongue out of his mouth and I did the same. We pressed them together before he shoved his into my mouth. We were both moaning into the kisses as our semes thrusted into us harshly.

" Mmm, Kak-ash-iii!" I started pushing back, meeting with his thrusts. Sasuke reached out and grabbed my erection. He started to fist me hard and our mouths disconnected so we could moan. I grabbed at Sasuke's cock and he hissed against my lips as we started kissing again.

Kakashi brought his hands up to my chest and he started to pinch my nipples. I cried into Sasuke's mouth as he licked at my tongue. I could feel his breath against my ear and hear his moans quite clearly.

" You like this don't you Naruto-Sama? You like being take by my fat cock while Sasuke and Suigetsu watch. It gets you hot doesn't it? Look at how lusty Sasuke is, he really likes the dick in his ass, just like you." Kakashi muttered. " Mmm, look at that, your ass is swallowing me up. I fit inside you well don't I?"

Sasuke and I moaned, squeezing each other's cocks harshly. I could feel the beads of the Uchiha's pre-cum on my hand and I brought my hand up to my mouth and licked it clean. Sasuke growled before tongue fucking my mouth. I knew he could taste himself and Suigetsu in my mouth and that must have gotten him even more aroused cause pre-cum started to trickle out of him.

Suigetsu smirked as he kissed across Sasuke's shoulders. He especially favored the creamy white skin of the Uchiha's neck because he continuously marked it. The bites looked painful since they were red with a purple tint.

" Aw Sasuke do you hear that? Can you hear me pounding into that tight hot space you call an ass? Mmm, it's so nice and wet just for me. You like having Naruto watch my cock slam into your ass don't you?" Suigetsu moaned and I blushed even more. Sasuke's lover was DIRTY! " What was that just now? Did you just get a little tighter? Do I turn you on that much? Mmm, yes. You like it when I talk dirty to you don't you? When I call you a little slut and tell you how well you take my cock?"

Sasuke moaned in response and I knew that he was close too. We were all close and this was just so amazing. The Uchiha started to jerk me quickly and I knew he wanted us to cum together.

I really couldn't take it and I came just as Sasuke did. Our cum hit each other's chest and we laughed a little before moaning like whores. Suigetsu gave Sasuke a few more good thrusts before spilling his load. I could see the white liquid dripping out of Sasuke's entrance as he pulled out. And even Kakashi didn't last that much longer. I moaned at the sensation of being filled by his hot seed. He pulled out of me and kissed my back.

I fell off his lap and laid on the ground for awhile. Sasuke laid next to me and we exchanged a few more kisses before Suigetsu made himself comfy on top of us. We moaned at the added weight but didn't do anything to stop him. He kissed both of us deeply and I could feel another round coming on.

" Sorry to ruin this moment my favorite of children but it seems you still all don't get lesson number one…" And with that Kakashi had stolen all of our clothes. We all sat up just in time to see him run out the door.

" I will kill him." I said with a yawn.

" Yeah, we'll kill him after this short nap." Suigetsu muttered as he crushed the two of us under his weight.

Naptime did sound quite nice…

**Sorry it was short but it was all smut...SO I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT**

**Me: NOW THAT WAS HOT! -fanning self-  
Naruto: I hate Kakashi! He's so evil!  
Sasuke: Pfft whatever, he's not so bad. You just hate him cause he steals your clothes  
Naruto: Doesn't that bother you at all?  
Sasuke: Nope. Being naked is just fine with me  
Me: Sasuke…are you a nudist at heart?  
Suigetsu: God I hope so, that would be amazing. Hitoko-Sama make it so!  
Me: Heh, I'll see what I can do. THIS WAS HITOKO-SAMA!**


	7. REVENGE: Cat Lady Style

**Ok so I haven't official decided if there is going to smut in this chap but I assure you that you will get a cheap laugh at Kakashi's expense. It will be regular PV then Kakashi's PV later.-**

Naruto sat at his desk with Suigetsu and Sasuke. After a certain encounter with said watery nin; he had asked to become one of Naruto's personal guards. Not that the blond could refuse, there was no reason too…Plus Suigetsu was unpredictable and could blackmail him with things he didn't even want to think about. Though if he did, the blond Hokage could always have Sasuke give him the worst case of blue balls in history. But that was not their main focus at the moment. They had an even bigger fish to fry.

" God! I can't stand her anymore! I don't want to look at her damn face or her anything! I just want to take her existence and roll it off a cliff." Suigetsu yelled breaking the silence. Sasuke rolled his eyes. He had obviously heard this speech before.

" Well Suigetsu there isn't anything I can do about it. Also, it's your fault she's here. You were the one who found her after all." Naruto muttered as he flipped through the files on his desk. " What about this one?"

Sasuke picked it up and flipped through it. " No, not harsh enough."

He put it back down on Naruto's desk as the three of them continued to search through all the missions that came pouring in this morning. Suigetsu muttered something under his breath that the other two didn't quite catch so they just ignored it.

" I'm seri-" Suigetsu was cut off by a very long sigh from the Uchiha, who shut yet another folder and placed it on the desk.

" Suigetsu I swear if you say another thing about how much you hate Karin, I will stop having sex with you for an entire week." The watery nin stopped all movement before crawling over to the Uchiha on his knees. Sasuke rolled his eyes and put a foot on his shoulder, preventing him from getting any closer. He reached out and tried to grab Sasuke but the Uchiha's foot held firm.

" Sasuke don't say things like that! I need you to live!" The raven scoffed before pushing Suigetsu onto his ass. Naruto smirked a little handing Sasuke another file. " Sasuke! SSSSSAAAASSSSUUUUKKKKKEEEE!"

" Don't call my name Suigetsu." The Uchiha muttered as his eyes scanned through the file. " Oh my god, I just found the mother of all missions."

Sasuke tossed the filed onto Naruto's desk and he eyed it but then got a large smile on his face. " Sasuke have I ever told you that I'm madly in love with your evil mind?"

" You could stand to mention it more." He said with a smirk. Suigetsu got to his feet and wrapped his arms around the Uchiha's waist, he licked his temple.

" Mmm, sexy brain of evil and dirty." Suigetsu muttered continuing to kiss the pale skin. Sasuke squirmed but made no effort to make his lover let go. Naruto rolled his eyes.

" Later is sexy time Suigetsu, so let Sasuke go." The blond mumbled. " Anyway, one of you needs to go out and bring Kakashi to me so I can give him our perfect mission."

" Why don't you it?" The watery nin asked. " All you gotta do is flash your modesty and Kakashi will probably come running to your aid."

" Whatever I'm just going to do it to prove how wrong you are!" Naruto said walked over to the window. Anyone around was going to get a nasty shock if they looked up…He pulled his pants down, pressing his exposed member to the cold window. The three of them jumped when they heard a knock at the door. Naruto righted himself before grunting his acknowledgment. Kakashi walked into the room. The blond and Uchiha both stared at Suigetsu, mouths agape.

" Heh, I win." He said with a triumphant smirk that showed one of his pointed teeth. " I would come running if Sasuke did that."

" Yo." Kakashi said. " My pervert senses were tingling and I had to see what you wanted. Perhaps you want me to give you a little bit of what we did last week?"

The old perverted man groped Naruto's firm ass with an innocent smile gracing his features. The blond punched Kakashi in the side of the head, making him drop his Hokage. Naruto handed him the mission before he could try anything else. The masked man looked at the mission and did a double take. He stared wide eyed at Naruto who was smirking madly.

" You can't do this!"

" Oh but that's where you're wrong Kakashi…I can do whatever I damn well please." He said as he sat back down in his seat. Sasuke and Suigetsu were both smirking as Kakashi shook with what seemed to be anger. " Have fun on your mission…Kakashi-Sensei."

Kakashi angrily stormed out of the room and only got even more pissed when he heard the chorus of laughter that trailed behind him. Suigetsu was the last to stop laughing.

" What mission did we send him on?" Sasuke and Naruto both sighed and shook their heads.

" I swear Suigetsu if it wasn't for the fact that you fuck me so good, I wouldn't have anything to do with you." Sasuke muttered.

**KAKASHI'S PV**

Naruto needed to stop playing so hard to get and accept my feelings for him. I mean sure, some of the things I did wouldn't be considered proper or nice or_ legal_. But whatever he hadn't really punished me which could only mean one thing. HE LIKED IT! I knew he would. He is such an attention whore that this kind of attention only makes him happy and feel wanted. Even in his punches and horrible revenge plots I can feel the love. And it only made me want him more when he would team up with Suigetsu and Sasuke. They were like an evil, sexy triangle of horrible revenge and hot sex. Mmm, yes. I quite like the sexy triangle. I think I will start referring to them as such, it'll probably piss them off.

But something I couldn't seem to shake was this possessive feeling. When Sasuke pounded his cock into my blond's tight ass, I couldn't help but feel like I should rip the Uchiha apart. Even though it was some hot shit. Mmm...Naruto riding Sasuke's cock. Aw man I totally just drooled on my mask; luckily it was dark so no one would notice it. Heh. I'm smooth.

I walked up to the house I was supposed to go to and gulped. I could already smell the inhabitants...

A cat walked past my leg and hissed before running off into the bushes next to the house. I scowled. God I hated cats so much. I mean dogs were one things, they were loyal and would be your best friend when you had no one else; cats on the other hand could care less about you, they're independent and only come when they want you.

I brought myself to knock on the door and I heard a loud grunt come from the other side. The floor shook a little as someone approached. The door opened and a large, fat woman, who was sweating profusely answered. She glared daggers at me before coughing harshly, without covering her mouth I might add. Was I more thankful for wearing a mask?

" WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Her teeth were yellowed and some of them were missing. Her long black hair was a knotted mess and smelled awful. I felt myself get nauseous as I continued to stare at her. I had a feeling this wasn't Naruto's idea and maybe he just piggybacked on the idea. A certain Uchiha's face popped up and I mentally cursed him. He was far too diabolical for his own good.

" Um, you needed an escort to the Land of Demons and I have been sent by the Hokage for your specific mission." She got a strange smile on her face and opened the door up wider for me.

" Oh well then, thanks for coming young man." She said as she attempted to fix up her hair. I resisted my urge to roll my eyes and just smiled through my mask to hide my utter and sheer revulsion. " Come on in...Oh sorry I don't even know your name, young man."

" Um...It's Kakashi." I said as I entered the house. Jeez this lady was Bipolar or something, one minute all rude now she's all sweet and _trying_ to be seductive. She tried to walk with a swagger, younger, prettier women had but she failed miserably. Her fat ass just swayed like grass in the wind. Oh god, why me? Naruto really had accomplished something...I officially hated my life.

" My name's Kumi. And this kitty right here is Jimbo, that's Pooch, this is Crystal, that's Snowy Snowy Love Muffins." Her voice trailed off as she named off every single cat that was around. Great, she was an animal hoarder. And seeing how she is obviously crazier than hell, she probably doesn't take proper steps to taking care of her house or pets...

The smell of the house was overpowering. I mean I was able to smell it from outside but the concentrated smell on the inside made me want to puke and cry. I could even feel the beginning sting of tears in my eyes. I WOULD NOT CRY! I'M A MAN DAMN IT! I shave and everything! But ughhh the smell was soooo bad! Dying...on the inside. So slowly...

After about a minute or so I had come up with a plan to be able to breath in this house. Stop breathing through my nose and let my mouth do ALL the work.

...

Well that was a horrible mistake.

I forgot that you can actually smell things with your tongue and since the odor was sooo concentrated I could briefly taste it. I tried my hardest not to turn around and run away. Now that would be bad!

Man why could Naruto do something else to torture me? Like ride around on my back, clad only in leather with a whip and make me do humiliating things that animals only do! Or burn my Icha Icha Paradise books again! Wow...This place really sucked cause I'd willingly burn all my porn to leave here. I started to pay attention to her again and she was still naming off her damn cats. God, how did she expect me to remember all those names? I really hope I didn't have to cause there was noooooo wayyyyy I could.

" This is Moochers and the last cat here is Pooter."

" Pooter?" I inquired. Maybe next time I shouldn't ask strange Bipolar ladies questions...

" Oh yeah, he has a horrible gas problem. Don't you Pooter?" She snuggled the cat to her chest and it just glared at her. I really wanted to laugh. Not even the damn cats wanted to be here. And another sad thing was, I felt sorry for them.

" Um shouldn't we be leaving soon? It's a two day walk to the Land of Demons..." Kumi(I think that's what her name was) looked startled. And then she just nodded once. " If you don't mind me asking, what are you going to do there?"

" Oh, I'm taking Snowy Snowy Love Muffins there so she can be purified by a priestess."

Must...Resist...Urge...To...Laugh...My...Ass...Off...And...Then...Kill...Sasuke...Then...Rape...The...Hokage...While...Suigetsu...Watches...

Wow...I didn't think my thoughts went to sex that fast. And I didn't even have my Icha Icha Paradise to inspire those thoughts. I must be really bored and annoyed then. Kumi grabbed the snow white cat and a carrier for her. She pushed past me and walked calmly out the door with me following behind her. Jeez, did she even know where we were going? I just rolled my eyes as we passed the border of Kohona. The guards raised an eyebrow and I just shook my head. They would totally be laughing at me later. But I only figured it would get better from here.

Oh how wrong I was...

Gai came running up to me and we both stopped to look at him. Kumi tried to act sexy again which made me want to die...The last thing I needed or wanted to see was her hitting on...Gai.

" Kakashi! My arch rival looks like we're going to be competing all the way to the Land of Demons!" Gai said as he did the nice guy pose, flashing me a brilliant smile, as usual. He stopped all movement though when he saw Kumi." AND WHO IS THAT YOUTHFUL WOMAN!"

He stepped around me and kissed her hand. She turned a deep shade of red and started to giggle. My eye twitched at the sight.

" Gai...What are you doing here?" I said trying to erase the images from my head. They weren't leaving...

" Ah yes! Our youthful Hokage assigned me to your case just in case any complications came up! A WISE AND YOUTHFUL DECISION COMING FROM ONE OF OUR MOST SPARKLY AND WONDERFUL STARS!"

It's official...I'm going to kill; Sasuke, Naruto, and Suigetsu. And rape them all first...Muhahaha.  
-

Ok I could sum up the past two days as the worst two days in the history of my whole life. So the_** entire**_ time we were walking Gai and Kumi kept on flirting and being all gross on each other. I mean come on! Even Gai could get someone better than her. She's like a wildebeest of horribleness and ugliness and grotesqueness and all the other words that could describe her that ended with 'ness'.

And that's not even the worst of it. Turns out that this cat was much more valuable than I really anticipated. We were attacked by like seven different villages' trackers, who were all after the damn cat. I mean sure, Gai and I were the force to be reckoned with and Kumi just swooned over us like the heroes we were but it was still annoying to go through all this trouble for a damn cat. That was fucking MEAN by the way. I just tried to pet the damn thing and every time it would scratch me or bite me, but when Gai would pet her, she'd be all purring lovely bull shit and shoot me a death glare! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW CATS COULD GLARE!

And there had been something bothering me the entire trip and I noticed that Gai could see it too since he stopped talking to her and moved back next to me. We looked at each other briefly before he covered the side of his mouth and leaned in next to me.

" Kakashi...Is it just me or do you see a zipper on the back of her neck?" He whispered...Or more like tried to whisper since she just turned around to glare at us. She probably heard something about 'her' and assumed we were talking some smack. And it only made the situation worse since Gai and I were so close together.

We smiled sheepishly smiled before taking a few steps apart. I nodded to him once and crept up behind her. That zipper was real. IT WAS REAL! There was no way it could have been an illusion. I mean sure, she had chakra but she was obviously NOT a ninja. She didn't even help when were dispatching the other enemies. I grabbed onto the zipper and pulled it down completely before she has time to react. The skin and hair around her head were the first thing to fall away, leaving copper red curls and moon pale skin in their wake. The rest of the skin and 'fat' followed. She was drop dead gorgeous, I mean great bust, curves, skin and hair. I was met with dark purple eyes and a killing aura that had not been there before.

" YOU FOOL! DO YOU EVEN REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE JUST DONE?" She screamed at me. I tried to say something to her but all the words I could think of were caught in my throat. And Gai was just as stunned. " GODS! THERE WAS A REASON I HAD THAT FAT, UGLY THING ON! I NEEDED TO SLIP INTO THIS VILLAGE UNNOTICED! NOW EVERYONE AND THEIR FUCKING DOG WILL BE ABLE TO SENSE ME HERE!"

And just like that we were surrounded. One of the men stepped forward laughing but then he glared, reaching for his katana. " Well, well, well. If it isn't Higurashi Kumiko."

Now her name was fake too? WHAT ELSE HAVE I FAILED TO REALIZE! And I called myself a ninja. Gai and I took up defensive stances but Kumiko just held up her hand signaling for us to stop. We stopped moving and she just walked over to Snowy Snowy Love Muffins and let her out of the cage. But what surprised me was she didn't hiss, she growled. And it was so loud that it managed to knock the enemy away from us and into the forest in front of us. They came back out, grumbling under their breaths as Snowy Snowy Love Muffins started to change...Her entire body lengthened and made such strange cracking noises as her spine and legs straightened out. When she was finished, she was larger than a panther and much more ferocious. Kumiko pulled a staff out of her wrist and just flipped her copper curls out of her eyes, like nothing just happened. WHO THE FUCK IGNORES THAT?

All the men charged them and Kumiko and Snowy Snowy Love Muffins didn't even seemed phased. Under those copper curls existed the mind of a tactical killer. She spun her staff up and smack one of them hard in the chest. He coughed up blood before falling over on his back, convulsing. She shoved the staff into the ground and started to swing around on it, kicking the enemies around her. They slammed into each other, rolling and hitting various rocks and trees before just laying there.

Snowy Snowy Love Muffins charged into battle, growling and clawing through her enemies. She jumped on one of them and started to rip them apart. He screamed bloody murder as she just started eating his organs. Gai and I stared at each other for a moment and when we looked back, all the enemies had disappeared, leaving their dead or beaten teammates. She just sighed as her staff disappeared and Snowy Snowy Love Muffins turned back into a small white cat. She jumped on Kumiko's shoulder and she turned to look at us.

" THAT WAS QUITE POSSIBLY THE MOST AMAZING DISPLAY OF YOUTH I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! HOW DID YOU LEARN SUCH STELLAR TAI JUTSU?" Gai yelled running up to her. He squeezed her into his chest and she let out a weird puff of air before starting to struggle in his arms. I would have done the same exact thing.

" LET ME GO! KIO!" Oh great now that's cat's name was fake too! Snowy Snowy Love Muffins takes much more time to speak and think than Kio! She just likes making life hard doesn't she. The cat jumped off her shoulder and onto Gai's face. He let her go instantly as he started to run around screaming as the cat clawed up his face. He started to roll around on the ground, much like one should do when they're on fire as Kumiko and I got closer together.

" So, I don't need you guys anymore. I just needed an excuse to get out of Kohona and do what I planned to do here." She muttered looking at her nails. " I'ma beat the fuck out the head priestess and take her job."

" Oh...Sounds fun." I said as I looked at her.

" Yeah, should be, cause now she'll know I'm here and send all her lame ass guards after me." Kumiko said as she snapped once. Kio unlatched from Gai's face and walked up to her master. She jumped back onto her shoulder and they took off down the path away from us. " If I don't die, I'll send you a postcard Kakashi."

She waved once before walking off leaving me with an injured Gai and some dead people. Yep, that's definitely one way to get you to remember someone.  
-

**TWO DAYS LATER!**

I walked into Naruto's office. Sasuke and Suigetsu stood close to his sides, a little too close...like they were almost on him. I slapped the mission report on his desk and he just smiled at me, resting that cute little face on his folded hands.

" Have fun Kakashi?" And now he was taunting me...I'm gonna rape him so hard when he's alone.

" I always have fun." I turned to leave as he opened my file. I managed to close the door before a giant explosion happened. I had planted a paper bomb full of baby powder in the folder just for funnzies!

" KAKASHI!" And that was my cue to leave...

**Awwww no smut, how sad D: But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this random chapter and got at least one or two laughs out of it! **

**Naruto: HEY! MY CLOTHES WEREN'T STOLEN!  
Me: Yeah but this wasn't a lesson, this was revenge...so it totally doesn't count.  
Naruto: THAT'S NOT FAIR!  
Me: Pfft. Life isn't fair...cause if it was I'd be riding the rollar coaster of fairness all the way to the ice cream stand of understanding.  
Naruto: Wha?  
Kakashi: Just drop it...This was Hitoko-sama  
**


	8. A Small Get Away For The Hokage

**HURRAY FOR YET ANOTHER UPDATE! LAST TIME WAS CAT LADIES SO WHAT COULD IT BE THIS TIME? Well, I guess you'll have to wait and find out...'til you read the first sentence or so... Ok it's more like an artist spin on one of the suggestions but whatever, still the main idea of the suggestion without the horrible campfire songs. Naruto's PV  
-**

I was sitting in my office with Sasuke and Suigetsu, still dusting off all my knick-knacks and things since that silver-haired devil..._who shall not be named_... for obvious reasons; came in here and made a paper bomb full of baby powder and covered me, my associates, and other things with it. Seriously, who does that? A silver-haired devil man-child beast brute thing of evil and plotting; that's who! The three of us have decided that he is more sinister than Madara, more plotting that Kabuto, and more of a pedophile than Orochimaru! And that's really saying something, even though Sasuke denies things, Suigetsu and I know... Ok so we have theories but no evidence or eyewitness accounts.

" It's not like I mind water or anything but it took me like three showers, two involving Sasuke...for purposes, to get rid of this powder! It's like he mixed glue in with it so it would stick even more!" Suigetsu complained as he dusted off a seat on my desk before taking a seat. Sasuke nodded then he shook his head a little; white dust sprung out of raven locks. He grumbled something before opening every single window for the fifth day in a row...

" Even though I hate to admit this Teme, he got us pretty good." Sasuke glared out the window as I saw small lines of dust fly out into the open air. I hoped Kakashi would be walking by and he would choke on them because he was taking a deep breath...for some reason. Oh wait, that would never happen. Stupid mask. I needed a good way to get back at him and I thought the cat lady of Kohona would be a good idea. And from the mission report from both Kakashi and Gai, it wasn't. Apparently none of what happened made any sense...to anyone. Especially me. But that was beside the point, we needed to come up with yet another revenge plot for Kakashi...And It will be so amazingly great that he will pee himself because he's so impressed with our evil genius. I mean it was bad enough he called us 'The Triangle'...As soon as someone heard Kakashi call us that it became official and EVERYONE called us that. It was almost impossible to walk down the street without someone whispering about my missing angles or sides. PEOPLE ARE EVIL! Especially Sai, he loved that nickname so much...I had to remember to kill him.

" We need a plan...Something that is so diabolically genius and evil that he'll be 'piss-my-pants-proud' when we unleash it upon him!" Did I mention that Sasuke and I have similar thoughts sometimes. Like that for instance...I sighed. He was so my best friend ever.

" OH THAT'S GROSS BUT YES!" Suigetsu said, a little more excited that he should be for making someone soil themselves. Suigetsu brushed some of the stray white powder from Sasuke's ass. I was hoping he'd make the Uchiha walk around like that, it would have brightened my day. But then again everyone would be staring at his ass and Suigetsu might go around maiming people...Again. He's so lucky I'm the Hokage... " But how shall we do it? All of the plans so far have failed. I mean there have only been like two plans but still, he has thwarted us for the last time!"

" Hmm, I didn't even know Suigetsu had 'thwarted' in his vocabulary." Sasuke muttered to me. I nodded. It was very strange when Suigetsu had good, or well planned ideas. He was much like myself, unplanned and random and as Sasuke constantly reminded, stupid. Not like that was a bad thing, in some cases. He glared at us but our moment was interrupted by a knock at the door. I looked at the clock, even when he was going to molest or bother me, he was late.

" I wonder who it is..." I said as the door opened. Kakashi stepped in and waved at us like he'd never done anything horrible to us in our entire lives. Evil bastard...

" Hello, how is my favorite triangle of sexy, evil geniuses today?" He said with an innocent smile. I knew the truth behind his lying smile. There was no innocence or good left in this man. He was shell of stupid, evil, sexy, evil, sinister, evil, genius...and did I mention evil?

" Stupid." Suigetsu mumbled out. Sasuke and I looked at him. We had made a pact! A PACT DAMMIT! That we would never respond if anyone called us the triangle. BUT I'll admit, it was a well suited nickname and if I ever started a band with them, I would totally have that as our name...Stupid Kakashi with his brilliant ideas.

" Stupid? Is that even an emotion?" We shrugged. If it wasn't then I was going to legally make it one. I had that power, you know. Muhahaha! " Anyway, I had a proposition for you Naruto-Sama."

" If it involves: me naked, your dick, or anything kind of sexually perverse gesture towards me, your past student and current superior, then count me out."

" Well that's good, cause it doesn't." That's when I started to stare. He had my attention that was for certain. What could he possibly want if he didn't want to bang me? " I know you're mad about the whole pet name being leaked, and mad about how every is calling you guys the triangle, but I thought maybe you and I could go somewhere nice so you can get away from the villagers."

Well I was stunned. Kakashi was being...NICE! After how many months? I was very tempted to go with him, just to see what his true intentions were, and also the get away sounded like just the thing I needed. I was hard working after all, with all my revenge plots and um, papers...

" Yeah that sounds nice. I would love to go with you." I said before I could really, really, think about it. Ah fuck it, I'll pay for my mistakes eventually. Sasuke's jaw practically dropped off his face when I said yes though so it was worth it. " When do you wanna leave? I'll need to get a replacement for the time I'm gone."

" Um...How about this weekend? You'll be able to get back when the new week starts."

" Sounds perfect. I'll see you tomorrow then?"

" Yeah...Yeah...See ya tomorrow." Kakashi looked almost nervous as he walked out of my office and I don't know why but I felt like I was blushing. I turned back to Suigetsu and Sasuke.

" Did the enemy just ask you out on...a date?" Suigetsu asked with a very confused expression on his face.

" I think he did..." Did that sound like school girl getting asked out by the hottest guy in class to you? Cause that's what I'm thinking. Man Kakashi always made me feel strange. Could this be...LOVE? Nah, probably just a mutual sharing of lust...Right?

" I don't know what to do.." Sasuke said, but then he turned and glared at Suigetsu. " Why can't we ever do anything romantic?"

" I take you out! We have dinner, go out to clubs, hell we even have the casual threesome with the Hokage! What else could you want?"

" How about actual romance! Like candle lit dinners at home that lead up to the most tender loving sex I've ever had!"

As they continued to bicker, I just sat there in a fog about what I had just done. It was like I was signing my soul away to the devil...who had a nice ass.  
~~~~

**TO THE WEEKEND! Naruto's PV still!  
**

" Wow Kakashi I didn't think you were going to take me to a bathhouse! These places are pretty spendy, I really appreciate this." I said with a large smile and slight blush I might add. He just ruffled my hair**. **

" Well good, come on, lets go to the spa before taking a bit of time in the hot springs. A Hokage needs to have clean pores before he has to go back to his stressful job."

It was a great time really it was. If you didn't count Sasuke and Suigetsu following us where ever we went. Oh did I forget to mention that? Well they were there, they followed the two of us from the village, thinking this was the perfect opportunity to strike. I didn't. I just wanted to have a nice time with Kakashi and have a relaxing couple days at the spa! But nooooo! Damn them both.

But I think one of the worst times was when we were in the mud room. Yes, it was that kind of bathhouse. It was all about the new age health tips about how to keep your skin looking nice and healthy even with the wear and tear of everyday life and stress.

Anyway, so I was soaking in hot, slick, grayish green mud( It was actually quite nice) when I notice some of it rising in Kakashi tub. To my complete surprise, I saw Suigetsu standing around a corner with Sasuke, using his ability to control water to lift the mud. They both winked at me. I think he were trying to make some crazy mud monster or something because it started to take a weird shape. The vein in my forehead pulsed as I focused the chakra to my hand and used the rasengan to destroy the mud. Kakashi jerked from a sound sleep to see me just relaxing away...and didn't seem to notice the mud that was splattered all around the room. It got the two of them as well. Heh.

Next they tried to get him during the facials. I laid back in my chair, resting my head against a pillow that cradled your neck in a perfect way when a woman walked over to me. She smiled and something didn't seem quite right, that's when I noticed her eyes and hair were the exact same color as Sasuke's. He clamped his hand down over my mouth and gave me a wink. I looked over at Kakashi, he had a hot towel draped over his eyes and Suigetsu was playing with some random facial stuff and some other strange bottles used for hair and one of them said something about blue dye. He mixed it up and was about to pulled off the towel and brush it on when I grabbed his wrist and threw him out into the steam rooms. I locked the door and he started to scream as his skin evaporated away. Sasuke rushed to his aid and threw him into the cooling pools. I just smirked and returned to the room just in time for the actual woman to give me a facial.

Currently I was sitting in the hot springs, letting the nice warm waters peel away all the tension and troubles. I rested my head on the cool tiles of the outer rim. It was nice and felt good on my heated skin. But soft butterfly kisses were trailed down my spine, making me shiver. I turned around and was pressed against the wall by Kakashi's body. He kissed the skin of my neck, before licking up and across my cheek.

" You seem very stressed Hokage-Sama...Shall I help you with that?" He said, his breath heavy against my lips. I wasted no time in pressing into him. Our lips brushed for only a moment before he pulled me closer for an actual taste. It wasn't a demanding kiss, at first anyway, but fire shot through my stomach and danced its way through my heart. I could feel it flutter as Kakashi's pried my mouth open with that strong tongue. Luckily Kakashi had shelled out enough cash for us to get a private hot spring...Lucky. Yes.

He pulled me back from the wall and into the middle of the pool. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his waist, his semi grinding against my hole. If I was crazy with lust, which I wasn't, I would have let him shove his entire cock into me without a moments hesitation. But I had my sanity still intact. Poor Kakashi. I arched as he ground against me more, making me grate my nails down his back. Gods, I was getting so aroused. He broke our kiss so he could play with my nipples. He sucked one into his mouth and I repositioned so I was pressing lightly on his shoulders and had my upper torso at his reach. Kakashi almost seemed to be purring with satisfaction as he continued to bite and play with my nipples. I moaned like a whore all the while.

He pulled us both out of the water and it made me wonder when we drifted to the edge. He laid me down on the cold tile; I shivered. Kakashi pressed his overly hot body onto mine and the heat was almost suffocating. But that seemed to ebb when I breathed deeply his scent. So musty and dripped with arousal. I moaned and pulled him down for another kiss.

" Naruto wait, there's something I've wanted to tell you for awhile now." I stopped letting him rise over me a little more. I felt so small, so insignificant beneath him. He leaned down, his mouth next to my ear, about to tell me something that could shatter my very existence.

" Kakashi..." I felt him shiver over me as I whimpered out his name. I could tell I was arousing him, it wasn't very hard to notice.

" Naruto, I lo-" Just then the owner busted in, she was all red in the face and behind her I could see Sasuke and Suigetsu. THOSE EVIL BASTARDS! I WILL KILL THEM!

" THIS ISN'T THAT KIND OF A BATHHOUSE! GET OUT NOW!"

**~KakaNaru~ lawls for the breakaway :D**

" So Naruto, there's no need to thank us." I glared over at Suigetsu. He jumped behind Sasuke, who was mumbling something under his breath. I swear if those two can't be happy then I can't either. I mentally cursed them both but then just sighed heavily. I really wanted to know what Kakashi was going to tell me and at least get to third base...

" I didn't WANT to be rescued...I was completely content with what was happening between Kakashi and I! And what's even worse than the embarrassment I felt by having that lady kick us out was that he had something he wanted to tell me and you two cut in before he could finish!" I said, slamming my fists on the desk. I stood up quickly and grumbled as I walked out of my office.

**~KakaNaru~**

Kakashi sat on the railing of his porch, dangling his feet over the sides. " Hmm."

He looked deep in thought as the blond Hokage passed underneath him. He thought briefly about jumping down and having his way with the frustrated blond but decided against it. It was fun making him wait.

_" Perhaps I should make him wait some more...He doesn't need to know the truth yet anyways. It kills the fun."  
_

**~KakaNaru~**

**MUHAHAHA AND THAT WAS MY UPDATE! A HORRIBLE TEASER FOR MY FANS! But all the same I hope you enjoyed it!**

**Naruto: What is Hitoko-Sama doing? She's been acting strange since she returned from Idaho...OH MY GOD! THEY REPLACED HER BRAIN WITH A POTATOE!  
Me: His argument is sucessful do to his use of counterarguments, definitions, and use of examples from the story. With those elements he was able to create a persuasive outlook on this troubling American classic...NO THAT SUCKS! -deletes everything-  
Kakashi: ...Yes Naruto that's why she's able to write thesis statements. She's finishing up her rhetorical analysis of Huck Finn, which she managed to finish somehow. It was the most boring book in existence.  
Me: That's cause you only like to read porn. This book was filled to the brim with racial commentary and the contradiction of social stereotypes!  
Kakashi:...You only like to write porn.  
Me: touché Kakashi, touché...This was Hitoko-Sama**


	9. Know Who You Belong To

**Sorry for the long wait! I mean with school and all my life stuff I haven't been able to update! FORGIVE ME! Regular PV ( Oh and this chapter's inspiration comes from Death Phoenix...long overdue lol)  
**

**~KakaNaru~**

Naruto's alarm blared right next to his head and he shakily slapped the nightstand until he found the damn contraption. He was about to turn it off when Sasuke leaned on him and flipped the switch himself. The Uchiha looked down at him unamused and Naruto smiled sleepily. Suigetsu let out a moan of displeasure and Naruto rolled out of bed, Sasuke followed. The watery nin smirked a little to himself as he watched Sasuke and Naruto walk into the bathroom. He hated seeing them go, but he loved watching them leave. He let out a contented sigh and rolled over, pulling the blanket over his head. It was still an ungodly hour of the morning.

Kakashi watched from the building opposite Naruto's. He could see said blond in the shower with the Uchiha. They were getting intimate, he could tell by the mixing of shadows into one solid looking mass. A few weeks ago, Kakashi would have been all for Naruto and Sasuke sexing. Now the thought made his insides twitch with an emotion that he never knew he could feel, jealousy. He angrily stalked off back to his apartment, he needed to think of a way to get Naruto to understand that this was much more than just a mindless sex. There were actually feelings involved. He may not realize it, but they were there. He smirked a little to himself, he needed to show his little blond Hokage just what feelings were there, since he was too stupid to figure it out by himself.

**~Change to Naruto's PV~**

I walked into my office, my trusting advisers by my side. It was so nice to them around...Even if they ruined everything, a good portion of the time. I mean that date, get-away thing with Kakashi was ruined by them, and probably a few good other things but I'm not really sure yet. Its just weird now because of the fact they've been on me for god knows how long. Its not like I'm opposed to being a three with them, its just that they were together first and I feel as though I am intruding on what they have. Though, its not like I have any other options...Like I said they kinda ruined that. Dare I say that I was falling for my evil genius Sensei? Why yes, I dare. But of course from the way things have been going its obvious that he just wants to keep this a sex thing. And it probably could have turned into something more if they would have let me complete my romantic trip with Kakashi. I sat down as one of the chunin entered with a stack of papers. When he left, the three of us sighed. It was going to be one of those days.

" Nothing exciting ever happens." Suigetsu complained sitting on the corner of my desk. Sasuke nodded his head and stretched. " I mean, no one ever attacks us. All the villages seem dazzled by Naruto's charm and good will. Hell, even the super baddies and villains like him! Not that its a bad thing, but you know what I mean. It would be nice to have some action every once in a while."

" I prefer a non-action life." I muttered. " Ever since we got rid of Madara, I've enjoyed the carefree nature of my life. I don't have to worry about the Kyuubi being stolen from me, nor the threat of being attacked constantly, and for that matter living a short life. Things are much better when there's nothing to worry about."

" Agreed." Sasuke said with a flip of his hair. " Besides, we get enough action from Kakashi to keep us on our toes."

We all agreed with that. Though I would love for Kakashi's relationship with us to change and be less...dangerous and illegal. It was a great way to put our ninja training to use in places other than missions. I leaned back in my chair and let out a sigh. Actually, Kakashi hadn't shown his face lately. I'm pretty sure Sasuke and Suigetsu scared him off for awhile with their ruin everything aura.

" NARUTO, GET DOWN NOW!" Sasuke yelled leaping from his spot. I barely had time to stand up before a smoke bomb burst into the room. We all started to cough and a shadowed figure entered behind me. I aimed a punch but the smoke was severely affecting my aim. I lowered my fist because of how hard I was coughing and the figure grabbed me from behind. Sasuke saw this and jumped over my desk onto the man's back. Well, at least I'm pretty sure it was a man. He grunted before flipped the Uchiha off his back and slamming him onto my desk. He rolled over to the side and held onto his side. He had been stabbed by one of the kunai I kept on my desk, to cut things. Suigetsu heard him groan and rushed to his side, I did the same. Unfortunately, this gave the man ample time to grab me again. I squeaked and Suigetsu used his ability to increase the size of his limbs. He only succeeded in punching me in the side of the head. I groaned with pain as I felt the Kyuubi healing the would be bruise. There was chakra surrounding me, tying up my wrists and ankles. Oh god no. He was taking me, and Suigetsu was too retarded to stop him. He slung me over his shoulder but not before blindfolding and gagging me. He kicked out the remaining glass while Suigetsu still blindly swung his enlarged body around.

Sasuke reached out and grabbed my foot but the man effectively staved off his attempt at rescue by kicking the already injured Uchiha in the face. He completed his daring escape by throwing Suigetsu into a wall, I heard his body burst from the impact. " Bye bye, have fun explaining your failure."

I screamed against my gag as I felt my body being moved about. Do you even know how scary it is to be moved around when you can't see shit? Its terrifying. And what was even worse about this was...I get motion sickness sometimes...And now was one of those times. The queasy feeling in my stomach was only intensified by the sound of loose gravel under my captor's feet. He had already managed to get out of the village. God knows how long it would be before he would stop and do whatever it was he planned to do with me.

He slammed me down on a hard floor, okay maybe his plan was going to be revealed to me much sooner than I wanted. I hadn't even developed a plan about how to stop him! DAMN YOU SLOW BRAIN! He fingered the blindfold and I thought he was going to take it off but he only ended up tightening it. I gulped, which was really hard due to the gag but I managed the feat!

" Well, well Hokage-sama, what will you do now?" That taunting tone, and similar mannerisms. Could it be? No, there's no way. There was absolutely no way, he would never do something that risky in the open. " Looks like you're two other angles weren't able to protect you. You should really beef up security."

...

I can't believe him! Kakashi, you stupid, evil bastard! I couldn't believe this! What if some people saw this besides Sasuke and Suigetsu! No wait, scratch that fear. Sasuke and Suigetsu would have to report my abduction to the Council of Elders! Oh my god they're going to be so mad when they find out this was all just one of Kakashi's pranks, they will probably have him thrown in jail or worse! They don't take things like this lightly! I really hope that Sasuke is stubborn enough to just look for me with Suigetsu and not get anyone involved! Oh please let him do that.

" You seem fearful Naruto." I could tell he was smirking or doing something of evil nature. " I'm not going to hurt you."

Yeah well, you're probably going to jail so it doesn't really matter what you do now. You better hope Sasuke goes on his self-righteous anger trip and saves me himself. Oh you better pray for that. He knelt down in front of me, well I assumed so because of the cracking sound. His knees cracked sometimes when he knelt. But I felt something was off about the whole situation and started to get more and more uncomfortable when something flicked across my nose. He's crazy! I inched back from him and the cracking sound only got more intense, it was also accompanied with the sounds of rushing air around my head. He was spinning something...He has a whip! Is he trying to give me a heart attack! And I thought he wasn't going to hurt me! That lying whore!

" Nervous, Naruto?" He laughed then and the whip hit my lips, I jolted backwards and because of that hit the gag came loose, somehow. I coughed a little and licked my now cracked lips.

" ARE YOU CRAZY?" I screamed at him. My voice was a little hoarse from the gag but I was still able to talk. " The council is going to flip a fat bitch when they find out I've been kidnapped by you! They don't take practical jokes too well, I should know. And I won't be able to cover for you! And what the hell is up with the whip? I thought you said you weren't going to hurt me!"

" Do you feel better now that you've voiced all your complaints?"

" No, not really." I tried to glare at him, but it didn't work to well because of the damn blindfold. I'm pretty sure he got the general idea of what I was doing, but still. It doesn't have the same affect as if you see it. He cracked the whip next to my head and I whimpered a little. He chuckled a little and started to caress my face.

" You know there's a reason why I did this, would you like to know?" I nodded my head, slightly hesitant just in case this was a crazy take over the village kind of deal. " On our little vacation we were interrupted by your favorite advisers...There was something I was going to tell you then, and I've been putting it off for a very long time. Now, I believe, is perfect since I have your undivided attention."

Why did I have a feeling he was going to say something that was either going to scare the daylights out of me or make me happier than I've ever been? This suspense is killing me! I want to know now!

" Here it goes...I love you. I have for a very long time, but I didn't know how to express it. So, I took a page or some from Jiraiya's books and decided sexually assaulting you was a good way to go. But recently, I've noticed that you haven't learned who you belong to. You are mine, not Sasuke's, nor Suigetsu's. Mine. And today I'll be giving you a lesson you'll never forget. And I assure you that, you'll never want either of them again."

Well, that kind of did both. My heart melted when he admitted his love for me, but then when he mentioned a lesson it sank. I really did not want to experience whatever his evil mind was cooking up. Especially with that whip and the tying me up and the blindfolding...

" Though I'm glad to hear this, I would really like to know your true intentions with me." He gently cupped my face, rubbing his thumb ever-so gently against my cheek. I knew better than to trust that touch, there may have been love in his words but his actions are something completely different. There was something much more sinister behind the touches. He rubbed his thumb against my cracked lips, pressing on them ever so slightly. The pressure made me wince and suck in a little air. I could tell he was smirking again...evil bastard. I felt the press of his lips against mine but it was strange...Was he still wearing his mask? Good god he was such a strange man. I pushed my tongue out ever so slightly but I felt nothing but fabric. He tried to tongue me back but I pulled away from him with a laugh.

" Oh and what is humoring you so?" I smiled a little to myself and I could feel the slight anger coming off of him. No one likes to be get made fun of. He grabbed the back of my head and I let out a squeak of pain, which I immediately regretted. How girlie was that? I could have at least done a groan or a grunt or something! He chuckled a little and pulled me up by my hair. I gritted my teeth then all of a sudden my mouth felt like it was being swallowed hotly by his. He obviously removed his mask, noting his mistake. Though I think he did it on purpose...He is acting strange. He grabbed at the collar of my shirt and ripped it open ever so slowly. I started to get more and more nervous with each patch of skin becoming exposed. Kakashi attached his lips to my collarbone, applying light suction to tease me, but because of the blindfold it made the simple feeling intensify beyond my wildest dreams. I didn't know sense deprivation would make such strong sensations. His lips trailed to my nipple and he gave it a small lick. It felt like bolts of electricity were coursing through my spine. I shuddered with pleasure making Kakashi suck on it. I whimpered loudly into his ear and he gave me a gently nip. His teasing was doing much more to me than I could have ever thought possible. The desire was burning hot in my gut. He didn't even know the effect he was having my body. He fingered the top of my pants, dropping into the hem. He didn't go straight for my cock, but instead moved his fingers nimbly around it.

" Mmm, Kakashi. I want more." I moaned out. He didn't give me a verbal reply but he did pulled his hand out of my pants. I whined at the loss but he just hushed me with his lips. He pulled down my pants, and probably my boxers too...If I had been wearing any...I couldn't find any clean ones this morning and Sasuke didn't want to share with me! Then a thought dawned on me...Kakashi had all my boxers! He'd stolen them along with all my other clothes! Ooo, his evil knew no end.

" Naruto, don't get distracted." Kakashi said giving my cock a long sultry lick. I shook with pleasure, arching up off the floor. He bit at my thigh lovingly, well kind of lovingly, more like painfully. Either way it was very arousing. He kissed up my thigh and I was in pure bliss...That is until he brought that whip down on my thigh. I cried out in pain and he just chuckled. " Like I said earlier, I'm going to give you a lesson you won't forget."

He flipped me over so that I landed on my stomach. I groaned and then swore a little realizing that he hadn't released the jutsu that was binding my hands. I pushed my wrists down and lifted up slightly off the floor just in time for him to get a well aimed hit against my entrance. I let out a scream of pain and arched back. He just evilly laughed and continued to whip me, he didn't keep it in consistent places. One would be aimed at my back, the next my thigh. And what was worse was the fact I was rock solid. I could feel my pre-cum dripping down the shaft because of how aroused I had become. I let out a strangled moan of pain when he hit my sac. I could feel the blood oozing out of that one, and a different one on my back. Kakashi put his hand on my back, rubbing his cool hands against my throbbing flesh. I let out a sigh of contentment and jerked a little when I felt his tongue lapping at the blood on my back. He trailed down my back and over my ass until he was face to face with my sac. He sucked and kissed it, making the blood stop cold in its tracks. If I didn't know any better I would say Kakashi was a vampire.

" You know Naruto, you're very wet." Kakashi said pressing his thumb against my entrance. " I bet you don't need any more preparation."

I was about to protest when he shoved a different gag between my teeth. This one was large and round. It squished when I bit down making it a perfect to conceal my pain. Ooo, Kakashi was pushing it. He grabbed onto my hips, pulling me back so I was on my knees. He ground his cock against my hole and made me wonder when he even pulled it out. All those things were pushed out of my mind though by him pressing the tip of his cock into my hole. It was moving in slowly making the pain better, but at the same time I wished he did something that would prepare me for this but no, he had to prove a damn point. I let out a groan of pain when he started to move. It was slow, steady thrusts and the pain started to ebb after the first few minutes. I could tell he was searching for my spot. I was panting harshly at this point, it wasn't very pleasurable but it wasn't bad either. He started to stroke my cock and my body was getting more and more into the sensation and before I knew it, I felt a shot of fire go through my entire body. I let out a harsh moan of pleasure , it made my toes curl and my eyes roll back into my head. I arched up and Kakashi planted hot kisses down my spine. This was becoming too much for me. I was going to blow any minute now.

" NARUTO?" I looked up...For some reason. I must have forgotten that I was blindfolded. Maybe Sasuke was right, maybe I am stupid...Nah. I'm a genius. I let out a muffled cry as I heard the door get kicked in. I knew it was Sasuke's voice and I could only feel his and Suigetsu's presence, so I counted myself lucky that no one else would have to see this.

" Looks like the two of you are here to ruin my fun once again." Kakashi said, still thrusting roughly into me. I whimpered loudly and dug my nails into the floor. I could tell by the silence of the other two that they were very aroused. And the sounds of dulled kissing confirmed my suspicion. Suigetsu was no doubt trying to attack Sasuke's neck. The familiar coiling sensation in my stomach signaled that I was close, and from Kakashi's jerky thrusts I could tell he was close. He started to thrust even harder, making my arms slid out from under me. The tip of my cock hit the cold floor and apparently that was enough to make me cum. I moaned against the gag and clenched harshly around Kakashi. He dug his fingers into my hips as he came harshly, making me arch at the feeling. I laid exhausted on the floor as he reached up and undid not only the gag but the blindfold as well. I blinked a few times as my eyes adjusted to the light and suddenly a horrible realization dawned on me. We never left the village, in fact we barely went down the street. I was in Kakashi's apartment, on his floor. That sneaky bastard.

I looked up at Sasuke and Suigetsu, who were getting a little too friendly with each other. But when Sasuke saw that I was watching he pushed Suigetsu into the wall and smiled down at me. " WHY DID IT TAKE YOU TWO SO LONG TO FIND ME?"

" Well for one, I knew you were never in any real danger. In fact I knew by the way he slammed me onto the desk that it was Kakashi. It was surprisingly gentle, besides the whole getting nicked by your kunai. And I when he left he talked, so it was obviously Kakashi. I knew that he was going to do something perverted and stupid to you and this time I was just going to let him do it since...well...he loves you and we can't keep getting in the way of that."

" How did you know Kakashi loved me?"

" It was obvious...how did you not know?" Suigetsu muttered rubbing the back of his head. And at that point I wished everyone on the planet would die. If Kakashi's love for me had been so obvious then why hadn't I figured it out? I bet so many people knew and didn't even hint or tell me! Ooo, this day just keeps getting worse...But apparently the worst was yet to come. I felt cold ink on my butt and turned around just in time to see Kakashi finish up something.

I got up and looked in the mirror in his room. THAT EVIL SON OF A BITCH! He had drawn a picture of himself on my ass with a caption underneath it that read, property of Hatake Kakashi. I blinked a few times as I heard the three of them laughing behind me. I glared and shook my head...I am so going to kill him.

**~KakaNaru~**

**Though Kakashi finally admits to Naruto that he loves him, Naruto doesn't appreciate being the only one left in the dark for so long about Kakashi's feelings. Understandable.**

**Naruto: I'm not that stupid! If that actually happened I would be able to tell!  
Me: Oh really? I doubt that...  
Kakashi: Yeah me too. You're too much of a spazzy idiot to notice when a guy is coming on to you.  
Me: Seriously. Kabuto hits on you all the time...  
Naruto: Nu uh...  
Me: Yeah huh, just look at the way he talks to you. This was Hitoko-sama. oh by the way, go vote on my poll! It has new ideas that are awesome :D  
**


	10. Do You Love Me?

**I'm sorry to say that this, will be the final chapter.  
-rabid cries and groans from the fans while they throw things-  
Ah! Well, you should have seen this one coming! Anyway, so yeah, final chapter but everything will be worked out. Naruto's Pv  
-**

Everything had been so weird from the moment Kakashi 'claimed' me. No one seemed to want to talk to me nor could I even attempt conversation with them without Kakashi magically showing up and asking their intentions. So everyone, besides Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Kakashi, wasn't talking to me. It was actually very annoying to say the least. How was I supposed to get any work done with the chunins and jounins didn't want to come into my office and receive their missions. I had to send Sasuke out there a few times just to drag people in to get their missions for the week. They had been so terrified by the Uchiha that they were completely happy in dealing with me.

" So Naruto, has Kakashi said anything to you recently?" Suigetsu asked, practically drooling. I had learned some very strange things about Suigetsu in the past year or so. He's a bit of a gossip, not that he spreads rumors around, more like he likes to know the dirt on everyone and every little small detail pertaining to a certain relationship. Sasuke and I have kept him entertained on numerous occasions by spillings the other's secrets. He had more dirt on us than the ground did. And of course he has a front row seat to the 'drama', as he calls it, between Kakashi and I. I rolled my eyes at him and pushed him off the corner of my desk, making Sasuke smirk a little to himself. " I'm just curious, you don't have to get all sore about it. There's nothing else to talk about anyway."

" Suigetsu does have a point." I nodded. It was true enough, there really wasn't much else to talk about. Sakura finally gave Lee a chance when she realized that Sasuke was with Suigetsu and their relationship didn't seem destined to fail. Sai and Ino have been dating forever it seems, she gave up on Sasuke also, but also Shikamaru since he ended up with Temari. I think they're having their wedding this summer, and until then, we couldn't really talk about it. Tenten and Neji were also planning a date and I was happy for them since Hiyashi didn't seem to approve of her at first. Kiba finally confessed to Hinata, who was still heartbroken over me since our relationship didn't work out. It was hard to be in love with someone when you're attracted to the same gender. They're trying to work out Hinata's emotional problems together and I already told them that I hoped they ended up happy, and well, together. Chouji and Shino are the only ones besides me who don't have a definite future with someone. I sighed. Maybe I should settle down, find a nice man, adopt some children, and live out my life the way I wanted. But then a realization dawned on me.

" Sasuke, how are you supposed to restore your clan if Suigetsu's a man?" The two of them seemed derailed by that one. But as soon as the random awkwardness of my question passed Sasuke just smirked at me.

" We Uchiha are well prepared for that situation. My kinsman weren't kidding around when they said that they'd keep the entire Uchiha clan going strong. They made a jutsu that rearranges the sex organs so that a man gains a vagina and all the required sexual organs that goes along with it. After the baby is carried to term, the gender realligns itself and the vagina would once again become a penis. And you know, vice versa if its two girls." Sasuke said. " But the only way it works if one partner has the Sharingan."

" I'm not carrying your baby." Suigetsu blurted out suddenly. The Uchiha looked almost devastated until he opened his mouth again. " You're carrying mine. Now remember that when you want children."

Sasuke shook his head, anger starting to play on his face. " No way. You're carrying my child, I don't care if I have to rape you. The Uchiha made a jutsu for that too."

" What? Is the Uchiha clan like a worse case scenario kind of people? Did they also have a jutsu for making a fellow kinsman want their cousin or sibling to ensure high chances of Sharingan in the offspring to follow?" Sasuke was silent and I think Suigetsu and I died a little on the inside. " WHAT? THAT'S SO CREEPY!" He went silent again. " Do you think you were the product of incest?"

" No, Sasuke wouldn't be. When the third heard about that process in the Uchiha clan he made one of the Anbu take the scroll so cousins and siblings wouldn't be forced into the incest." Kakashi said. " Though, some of the Uchihas were willing to participate without needing the jutsu. They were dedicated to the clan. But somehow their children didn't come out with the Sharingan so they banned the practice all together." I nearly jumped out of my skin when he started to talk. Sasuke didn't seem fazed and neither did Suigetsu. Well, I was the only one facing the other way, they probably saw him coming.

" What're you doing here Kakashi?" Suigetsu said with a sneaky smile gracing his features. There was something off here. Sasuke got off my desk and started to move towards the door when Suigetsu followed. I blinked a few times. WHERE WERE THEY GOING? Kakashi turned my chair around and started to smirk at me.

" Why hello Hokage-sama. How are you today?" I rolled my eyes and leaned back in my chair a little.

" Good before you got here. What do you want from me?" I said turning my chair around. I started to fill out some mission requests and paperwork when Kakashi sat down on the papers in front of me. I blinked at him. Did he seriously expect me to act like he had not ruined my life? To act like he hadn't made everyone avoid me? To act like he hadn't been avoiding me save for the few times he told other guys to back off of me? Yeah, I had yet to forget about all that. He cupped my face in his hand and made me look into his eyes. I tried to jerk my head away but he had a firm grip.

" Why are you so mad?" He asked with the most serious tone. I looked away from him as tears started to burn the backs of my eyes. How stupid was he?

" You've avoided me for the past two weeks, you say that you love me and yet you never so much as hold me. How am I supposed to act? You've spurned my feelings for no reason!" I yelled into his face. That's when he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. I don't even remember when he pulled off his mask because my mind was so muddled from the pressure on my lips. I pushed him away and shook my head. No, I had to keep myself in control, no giving into feeling. " Don't try to win me over with kissing and your damn perverted acts!"

" Do you love me?" He asked. I felt a flush creeping up the back of my neck and I averted my eyes again. Why couldn't I look him in the eye? " I'm waiting."

" Well, what if I do." There was a sparkle in his eye then, and his mouth crinkled a little in the corners.

" What's wrong with that?" He asked sealing his lips over mine. This time I didn't push him away or fight the inevitable. He pulled off my clothes and cleared off my desk before I could even protest about the importance of those documents. Kakashi also stripped himself of clothing and was grinding against me, trying to excite my arousal, which was already pulsing hotly with blood. He bit at the pulse of my neck, making me arch up. He supported my back with one of his hands, using his free one to pinch my nipple. I moaned softly and bit my lip. He kissed me again this time a little more feral than before. I groaned into this kiss, opening my mouth enough for him to skip his tongue inside. He traced my mouth sinfully with his tongue, making my entire twitch with anticipation. I wanted to know what else he could lick so well with his tongue. " Naruto, I want you."

" Then have me." I said rubbing my hands down his back. He pushed me back against my desk, making sure only my ass was hanging off the edge. I laid back as Kakashi's trailed down my stomach with his tongue, leaving goosebumps and tingles on my skin. He got to my aching need and simply bypassed it, kissing down my thigh. It made my leg shake with pleasure and I giggled a little to myself. He gripped me with his free hand, stroking my arousal ever so gently. It was like a ghostly presence engulfing me in a cooling touch. I arched into the touch and he continued to kiss my thigh. He gave a hot lick to my entrance, making me gasp in pleasure. He thrust his tongue in, jerking it up and around. It was getting so wet and aroused. My stomach was tightening and clenching and I was surprised when I felt as though I was on the edge of climax. I whimpered and Kakashi pulled his tongue out. He sucked greedily at one of my balls and I brought my hand to my mouth and bit down on my palm. I was trying desperately to keep myself from climaxing. He grabbed my arm, giving me a dangerous look.

" Don't silence yourself. I want to have all of you, that includes your noises." He said, bringing his mouth up to the head of my arousal. He gave it a kiss, sucking enough to make a little more pre-cum work its way out. I moaned a little when I felt a finger pushing against my tight ring of muscle. I was panting as he stroked my inner walls, I was already slick from him tongue and he really didn't need much lubrication for his fingers. I was dripping wet...

He shoved in another finger, working them slowly. We weren't in a rush and I didn't mind him treating me so nicely. It was a relief to have him take it slow so he could map out my body and my reactions. I loved the attention. He thrusts his fingers in and I found myself unable to hold back. I came on his chest and he smirked at me.

" Couldn't hold back, I see." He said shoving in a third finger. He was thrusting them and out of me roughly, helping me ride out my orgasm. I arched when he pressed harshly against my prostate. I moaned so loudly and I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him closer. It caused his fingers to go deeper. He pulled them out and started to rub his arousal against my hole. " God, you're making it so hard to wait."

" Fuck me, Kakashi-sensei." He nodded, spitting on his hand. He covered himself with the saliva because, well, there wasn't any other kind of lube around here. He pressed in slowly, going inch by agonizing inch. I was panting harshly, digging my nails into his back. Kakashi bit at my neck in retaliation and I grunted through the pain. Once he was fully seated I let out a sigh of relief. It seemed like he had gotten bigger since we did last. I nodded my head and he pulled out most of the way. I moaned as he reentered, creating a steady pace at first. I started to rub down his back, noting that I had dug my nails in deep enough to make him bleed. I gave him a kiss on the neck, smearing more the blood onto this back. He either didn't notice, or he didn't care. He nudged my face over and gave me a kiss on the lips, pushing his tongue inside. I moaned into his mouth as the rhythm started to pick up. I arched up, spots dancing in my vision, a moan tore through my throat. He smirked to himself and started to move harder against that spot inside of me.

" Do you like that Naruto?" He asked rolling me over so I was face down against my desk. The wood had been warmed by my body but it wasn't the idealistic surface for your dick to rub on. He started to pound me hard and I moaned, nails grating down the middle of my desk. I started to tear up the wood as his hips jerked faster. " You're so tight and hot. You're really turned on aren't you? You've never been this tight before."

" Mmm, Kakashi. More. I'm so close." I said in a shaky voice. He kissed my back as his hand wrapped around my erection. He started to pump me in time with his thrust, causing my stomach to clench and coil. My climax was coimg upon me again. Somehow Kakashi made my body's pleasure increase dramatically. I moaned, resting my head on the cool wood of my desk as I came a second time. Kakashi's body tensed, filling me with hot liquid. He jerked his hips a couple times, riding out his orgasm inside me. I looked back and felt my face burning. He was biting his lip, eyes closed, and a red tint to his cheeks. It was the hottest look I'd ever seen. He looked down at me and placed a sloppy kiss on my lips. He pulled out and pulled me into his arms.

" I love you, Naruto."

" And I love you, Kakashi."

" But there's a problem." He said in a very serious tone. I looked into his eyes and there was a hint of mischief. Oh no... " You still have yet to learn lesson number one. NEVER LET THE ENEMY GET THE UPPER HAND!"

He stood straight up, grabbed our close and bolted out of my office. THAT EVIL SON OF A BITCH! I'LL GET HIM FOR THIS! I SWEAR IT!  
-

**And that's how it ends. Hurray for Kakashi being evil to the one he loves. I hope you enjoyed the laughs and maybe for some people the tears...Idk why there would be tears but there might have been. until next time, this was Hitoko-sama. **

**Naruto: I can't believe its over.  
Me: I can't believe its not butter! HAHA!  
Kakashi: Neither can I, this totally tastes like butter. You totally set that stupid joke up Naruto.  
Naruto: Don't remind me. I'll never say anything stupid again.  
Me: And again is in the next few minutes right?  
Naruto: DAMN YOU HITOKO-SAMA!**


End file.
